My Life (sons of anarchy fan fiction)

Im so confused

I went back inside as all the boys went to church. I sat down at the bar and saw that Tara was talking to Donna. Now I love Donna to death, but i didn't always love her. She took my brother away from me too when I needed him. I could never tell him what Tara did to me because it was always about Donna. Gemma came walking in and glared at Tara and smiled when she saw me. She walked over and sat down next to me. "Hey Baby." She said smiling at me. "Hey Ma." I sighed. "What's wrong sweetheart?" She asked. "You'll find out soon." I told her putting my head in my hands. then we heard yelling and banging. "Im gonna kill you!" I heard my dad yell. "Shit." I said. I got up from my seat and ran to the Chapel doors. I whipped it open and saw my dad hitting Jax. "Dad stop." I said, he ignored me and continued to hit him.

"DAD I SAID STOP!!" I yelled and everyone stopped and looked at me. "Sit the fuck down and everyone shut the fuck up." I told them sternly, they listened and sat down. I turn around and bring Gemma into the room, I look at the now opened doors and see Tara and Donna standing there. I rolled my eyes and shut the doors on them. "Why did you shut the door on them." Jax asked. "Oh I didn't know that you wanted to let your Old Lady know that you cheated on her and got me pregnant." I sassed. He looked down.

"Now. Dad why did you try to kill Jax?" I asked already knowing the answer. "He knocked you up." He said beyond pissed. "Dad. My baby is dead. Jax didn't even know that I was until today. None of you knew except Chibs." I told him. "YOU TOLD CHIBS BUT NOT US!" My brother yelled. "Because I knew you guys would react like this, I also knew that something bad would happen so I didn't want you guys to get your hopes up, and yeah chibs knew I was pregnant, and yeah he knew I lost the baby, but we never talked about it ever again. Im sorry if you guys feel disrespected but this was my choice you and dad aren't the only ones that should feel disrespected Jax should too because I didn't even tell the father. But look at him he's respecting my choice, Chibs respected my choice i need my family to respect my choice." I told them not crying this time.

"Baby we respect your choice." Happy told me, I smiled. "I know you guys do but Im not to sure about my brother and my dad." I said looking at them. "And dad the only person you should try to be killing is the man who killed my baby. Not man that knocked me up." I told them. "Jesus the way you say it makes it sound like it was a bad thing." He told me. "Thats cause for me it was a bad thing. You had sex with me and the next morning you said it meant nothing to you. So my baby would probably mean nothing to you too." I told him. "That's not true I would've loved that baby and you." He said. "Bullshit. YOU SAY THAT BUT IF THAT HAPPENED AND TARA CAME BACK AND WE WERE TOGETHER YOU DROP ME IN AN INSTANT JUST TO BE WITH SOME BULLY!!" I yelled at him. "What do you mean bully?" He asked raising his voice.

"Nothing its not like it would matter now anyway." I said looking down. "Come on sweetheart you need a drink." Gemma told me, I nodded. "Im sorry about my problems I didn't mean to bring it to the club." I said to Clay. "Don't worry about it baby we are always here for you no matter what." Clay said getting up and giving me a tight hug. "Love you sweetheart." He whispered. "I love you too Papa Bear." I whispered back making him chuckle at the sound of his nickname. We pulled back, and I gave him a kiss on his cheek, and hooked arms with Gemma and walked back out to the bar. When we walked out Tara and Donna looked at me. Tara glared at me, and Donna stared at me with concern in her eyes. I shook my head and sat down at the bar with Gemma as poured two shots of tequila for both of us. We clinked glasses and drank it and slammed it on the table. We both smiled at each other.

"Jesus I needed that." I told her. "Yeah you did. Baby why didn't you at least tell me I would've come and got you." She told me honestly. "Um I don't know." I lied. After I said that a pair of arms wrapped around me. I saw that they were covered in tattoos and knew that it was Happy. I leaned into his chest. "Hey baby." He told me kissing my head. "Hey Hap." I sighed. "You alright Harley?" He asked. Opie slammed open the Chapel doors and stomped over to me. "I still don't know why you didn't at least tell Gemma to come and get you when you found out. You can lie to everyone else but not me. Now tell me the truth!" He yelled. By now I was beyond pissed. I jumped out of my seat and got in his face. "Did it ever occur to any of you that maybe I didn't want to come back?!?!" I yelled. "Why would you not want to come back?" Happy asked. "We all know now why i wouldn't want to. I didn't want to be around someone that didn't feel the same way I did and just fuck me and then leave me. I wouldn't want my child to have a dad who leaves on a run and fucks every girl there. I didn't want to feel like I was nothing but in the end with him I will always be nothing." I told them.

"Now don't ever yell at me again when i valid reasons for my actions. You on the other hand no reason for your actions for leaving me while I was in high school." I told Opie. "What the fuck are you talking about Harley?" He asked. "You don't even know what my high school experience was like do you?" I asked. "Of course I do Tara and Donna told us both." He told me. "See you didn't even ask me. You were supposed to protect me both of you promised to protect me you didn't do that." I told them. "Who did we need to protect you from?" Jax asked. "MYSELF! I needed protection from myself." I told them tears coming to my eyes. "Baby you don't have to tell them if your not ready to." Happy told me. "Yes I do. I used to self harm. My thighs, my arms, my stomach, my shoulder. And none of you noticed. You have no idea how badly I wanted any of you to notice. I even tried to kill myself but that didn't work, because someone found me." I told them. "And who the hell was that?" Opie asked.

"Happy. He saved me that night." I told them.