Waiting for yesterday UPDATED 이미 이루어졌다

삼 chapter three- an intervention

I'm woken by the sound of a ringing phone and when I answer it I hear a woman's voice. It's not my mum though. I look at the name on my phone and it says, 시어머니.

First of all: my phone. What in the world! I'm used to my Nokia brick so I'm guessing I'm really in the future! Maybe I've watched too many time travel movies but I sort of take it for granted.

I quickly seek out my gratitude jar. If it's full, it should tell me what I've been up to recently.

It's right there beside the bed. It's half full. I pull out all the post it notes that have been rolled up and uncurl them. The phone keeps ringing but I don't know who 시어머니 is. I uncurl a post it and there, luckily, reads 시어머니의 김치. Well that's too easy! I can learn by context! I know what 김치 means. Kimchi. So someone made kimchi. I answer the phone.

My first thought is it's my mother in law. My mum never makes kimchi since I said it smelled. Looks like in the future I'm somewhat closer to redemption. I'm about to answer the phone when it hangs up. There's a voice message. 며너리, 빨이와. 씨아버지가 또 아빠.

Come quickly, someone's sick. I think it means my father in law is sick. I can't go out without showering though. I stink. I absolutely reek.

I get up from bed, bleary eyed, and look in the mirror. To my complete shock, I am about thirty years old. It's hard to tell on my face, but my body is definitely no longer that of a stick thin teenager. My boobs are developed nicely, which is nice. I don't have wrinkles or anything but I have a lot of freckles. My acne seems to have cleared up too thank God. I should've worn sunscreen. I seem to have aged overnight. I wonder if I'm stuck in a dream. I open the blinds and lying next to me, snoring, is a man.

I peel back the covers gingerly and see that it's Matthew Kim, but all grown up. I almost pass out from the shock. Have I had a one night stand with Matthew Kim? There is no way his judgemental mother is my mother in law. Nor his gambling father. When did I get stupid and marry into a family like that. Im on the pill, right? I start shaking, freaking out. I need to get out of this room as quickly as possible. But there's no clothes lying rummaged on the floor. Surely this isn't my room? I look in the closet. There's a squeak when I step on something. Am I trying to have a baby?

Suddenly I feel the urge to throw up. Running as fast as I can I pull back my hair, cursing my having forgotten a hair tie, and realise with a start my hair is so short it swings forwards and gets covered in vomit.

I start showering as quietly as I can. I don't want to wake Matt. He's not the kind of person you marry. He's so healthy and wholesome (I get that from him having a job early) and his mum is controlling and his dad sounds fun but weird. We've obviously reconnected and had a one night stand and now whoever I'm actually married to is going to divorce me.

No amount of scrubbing will get my reek off. It's the smell of a party. A seedy kind of party. Thankfully there's a bathrobe and I put that on and tip toe to the bedroom. Matt is still slumbering, in a somnolent state.

The clothes aren't office attire, but just casual clothes mostly. They're all about my size. It appears this is indeed my room and my closet. I grab whatever clothes I can find and quickly put them on. It stinks like cigarettes. Cigarettes and alcohol. What on earth? There is no way these are my clothes. Does Matt smoke? I'm about to hightail it out of there when there's a soft murmur beside me.

Matt Kim is waking up.

Please please don't wake up. I can't deal with this right now. Have I been smoking and drinking and sleeping around! Or is Matt smoking? Are we cheating on our respective spouses? What is wrong with me? Is that why I look so old? Is that what cigarettes and alcohol does to your skin and body?