Waiting for yesterday UPDATED 이미 이루어졌다

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Waking up I'm relieved to see that I'm back to my normal self. I wonder if it wasn't all a dream. I look at my textbooks and see a stack of books written by Isabella bird. I sit and actually read them. I find that I'm enjoying it and the fact that Isabella explored these foreign countries on her own makes her really admirable and brave in my eyes. Especially considering that her health was never that great.

As I'm doing my readings, I get a phone call. It's Matt. He's working at the grocery store but he wants to meet up. I agree to meet him and ask my mum to drive me. In the car I ask mum if she wouldn't consider opening a coaching College. I wouldn't mind working at a coaching college as a tutor I say. I'm not making it up either. I really did like teaching my past-future self even if it was only for like fifteen minutes. There was something meaningful about helping someone do their homework. I think about my brother, and decide that when I get back I owe him an apology. Also, I really want to figure out how I managed to get my self to duplicate. I did it for one day. There was sixteen year old me hanging out with thirty year old me. Then one day all I could do was travel by myself, as a sixteen year old. Is there a reason for this? A scientific reason? Is it because I'm just scared to grow up? I've even visited myself as a ninety year old, but the minute I arrive in the future I'm a sixteen year old me in that future. When I'm ninety, my parents are both passed so they don't give answers. My brother is married and keeps slamming the door on me. It's sad and strange.

Mum waits in the car as I talk to Matt. He's got an ice cream in his hand, one for me as well.

"What was it that you prayed for anyway?" He asks. "Since we both prayed it worked. Did we pray for the Same thing?"

"I just prayed to be sent to the future." I explain. "To not be overprotected."

"Hmm. You know, it's going to be a long time before Ethan realises he's not mixed race and it's going to be a hurtful time when he rejects us."

I dig into my ice cream. Between bites, I say, "It doesn't have to be that way."

"No?"

"Let's just be nice to him no matter what," I say. "Like in the story of the taming of the mother in law. If we treat him well, no one can say that we ostracised someone of our own race."

"How do you know that story?"

"I think I'm beginning to understand your mother, and adults in general," I say.

"How's that?" He eats really slowly, he doesn't gobble his ice cream like I do.

"How do I explain this?" I say. "When you get lucky and see the future, and you know it's waiting for you, it's like being older. You're less concerned about someone hating you right now. Because in the future they won't hate you so much."

"Very profound," says Matt. "Are you talking about Ethan or your future kid?"

"Bit of both."

"Thank your mum," I say.

"Does this mean you maybe..."

I take his hand in mine. "Yes."

"I thought you would wait for Ethan to realise that he's in love with you?"

I have ice cream on my lips. I bring my lips up to Matt's. "Why would I do that when I have someone who loves me right now?"

"Anyway, he's not."

"No?"

"Nah, Ethan just has a lot going on. I think—I think we'll understand when we're forty. Maybe ten years can go by when you don't think about someone, then suddenly you do and want to apologise. Maybe you can go to a country like China and have an adventure and forget about the girl you were in love with..."