Everything I Need

34

By the time I finish talking, Kyler is a complete mess. I know it hurts her ribs to cry and that's not what I was trying to cause but I honestly needed her to hear my words to erase Mike's hateful ones that were filling her mind. I just hold her to let her cry and I cry with her.

Once Kyler stops crying she says "I know you're right. There is no doubt we would have eventually found each other and fell in love. We have that once in a lifetime connection and I feel stupid for letting Mikes words get to me but they did and still do." She reaches for my hand, "thank you baby, I love you and I'm truly sorry. I think mom is right though."

I move my head so I can look at Kyler better. "I love you too and please stop saying you're sorry. What do you mean mom is right? Are you talking about my mom?"

Kyler chuckles at the confused look on my face. "Yes baby, your mom. She mentioned I might want to consider seeing a therapist and... I think it might be a good idea. I think it might help." I don't know why but after she admits that, she looks away from me almost like she is ashamed. I have never seen my wife like this. Everything that has happened to her has just been bottled up inside and I really think she needs to talk about it with someone professionally.

From Kyler's mom dying, to the things Mike said and done when he kicked her out and now everything that recently happened. I can't even imagine how she is feeling after losing a patent that loved her unconditionally like her mom did. Moving here for a fresh start with Mike who was supposed to be a father to her and love her unconditionally also but was never there and didn't actually want her. A father that turned so hateful towards her and literally tried to kill her. I can't even begin to imagine what that has done to her mentally.

I caress Kyler's check and turn her face back to me. I peck her lips, "I think that's a good idea. Mom mentioned the same thing to me for myself and I've already called and scheduled an appointment. I really think it's something I need to do after what just happened with Mike and with everything that happened in my marriage with him. I honestly believe it will help both of us. Just know that if you want to talk to me, I'm here for you. I will help you in any way I can."

Kyler fell asleep with me laying beside her in the hospital bed and I couldn't help but to watch my beautiful wife sleep. She was sleeping so peacefully until the damn door opened and a nurse came in to check her vitals. The nurse gave me a weird look for being in the bed with Kyler but didn't say anything. After checking her vitals, the IV was removed from her left hand and she said Kyler could carefully get a shower with help but she could not raise her left arm due to her shoulder. Also after showering, they will come back to put a sling on her left arm.

Once the nurse leaves Kyler looks at me "will you help me get a shower?"

I smile at my wife as I get off of the hospital bed. "You don't even have to ask. You know I'm going to help you. The nurses damn sure are not helping you shower." Kyler laughs but quickly stops as she winches in pain from her ribs. We make our way to the in room bathroom and I help take the wrap off of her arm then untie the hospital gown which is the only thing she has on. The gown falls to the floor and I bend down to move it away from her feet and out of the way.

I stand back up and my eyes are immediately drawn to Kyler's ribs. I clench my jaw and fight back the tears as an uneasy feeling hits my stomach. I feel like I'm going to be sick but I push through for her sake. I turn away long enough to turn the shower on so the water can warm up and to settle my nerves. When I turn back around, Kyler is looking at herself in the mirror. Tears build in my eyes again as I look closely at her bruised ribs. There are deep purple bruises on both sides that go around her abdomen and two marks on her right side that's nearly midnight black in color. I honestly don't know how only two ribs are fractured. How could anyone do this to their own child?

We lock eyes in the mirror and Kyler turns around facing me then asks "c-can I touch you?" I'm a little confused as to why she is asking that and she apparently notices the confusion on my face. "I don't want to raise my hand up and you flinch away from me again. I promise you, I would never do anything like that to you."

I feel bad for reacting the way I did before when she was bringing her hand to my face. My initial reaction was to move away and I couldn't help it. "Baby, you don't have to ask but thank you. I know you wouldn't hit me and I'm sorry for reacting that way before. Everything was still fresh on my mind and I guess that was just my initial reaction when I saw you raise your hand."

Kyler raises her right hand slowly and wipes the tears away from my face. "I just don't want to scare you so I would rather ask to make sure it's okay." She keeps her hand on my face and caresses my cheek as I take notice of her sad eyes and she seems deep in thought.

"Kyler? The water is ready so you need to get in the shower." She nods and I walk with her to the shower to make sure she doesn't fall. I don't want any nurse barging into the bathroom while we are both naked so I quickly lock the bathroom door then strip down so I can get in the shower with her and help her bathe and wash her hair.

   After helping Kyler bathe and washing her hair for her, I quickly bathe then help her dry off and get into a clean hospital gown. I haven't been to our house for any underwear for her and it's not like she can raise her arm to put on a sports bra anyway so she will have to make do with nothing underneath the gown. After I'm dried and dressed too, we make our way back out into the room.

I help Kyler back into the bed and call the nurses station so they can come put the sling on her arm. Once they make it to her room, they give her pain medicine and put the sling on her left arm and leave so she can rest. "Lay with me, please." Kyler quietly says to me. I nod and make my way to her bed. Before I can even get into the bed with her she stops me. "I want to talk to our little bean."

Tears fill my eyes because I realize I was scared I would never hear Kyler call our baby that again. I gladly step to the right side of the bed close enough to the top that she can touch my stomach and talk to our baby too. "Hey little bean. I'm so glad you and mommy are both okay. I love you so much and promise to always love you no matter what." She kisses her fingers then touches them to my stomach. "I can't wait to meet our son. He will be beautiful just like you and with blue eyes too."

I laugh through my tears "h-how do you know we're having a boy?" Kyler shrugs and mumbles "just a feeling" then pats the bed beside her. I carefully get on the bed and she wraps her right arm around me holding me tight like she is scared I will slip away.

"Thank you for everything Lauren." It doesn't take long and I hear Kyler's steady breathing and I know she is going to sleep. I close my eyes and start drifting off to sleep as well but my eyes pop back open when I faintly hear "please don't ever leave me."