Everything I Need

51

I hold Lauren tight as she clings to me and cries. She cries until she falls asleep in my arms. I hate seeing her cry but apparently she needed to because no matter how much I tried to console her, the tears didn't stop so I just held her. I wish I could take all of her hurt away.

Looking at Lauren, it feels like every emotion is stirring inside me right now. What the hell was wrong with Mike to treat her like that. My heart aches for her and I just hate that she went through all of that. I hate that she felt like she couldn't leave and that she didn't realize she deserved better. She should not have gone through any of that, nobody should have to. I want nothing more than to protect Lauren forever. I want to hold her in my arms, as tight as possible and never let her go.

I am so angry at Mike for hurting Lauren physically and emotionally. The emotional abuse she went through I believe was far worse than the few times he was physical with her. It breaks my heart that something like that happened to my wife. It breaks my heart that I wasn't there for her. I know at the time it was impossible but I also feel guilty for not being there to protect her but I'm so happy to have her now and will do anything to make sure her and our babies are safe.

I glance at my watch and realize we have been laying here on the couch for quite a while. It's now 7:30 p.m., we haven't even had dinner yet and she definitely needs to eat. I stretch my arm out and finally grab my phone off of the coffee table and place a doordash order for two pepperoni calzones and some veggie rolls from Ali's Pizzaria for dinner. She loves their food so I know she will be happy.

Lauren begins to move a little and slowly her eyes open. She softly mutters "hey" as she looks at me and stretches. Her eyes are red from crying but she is still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

"Hey beautiful," I say as I pull Lauren closer to me to the point our noses brush against each other's. I close my eyes as I softly kiss her, loving the feel of her wonderful, soft lips on mine. She smiles against my lips as she pulls away to look at me. She just looks at me for a few seconds and caresses my face.

"You already have me Kyler so you don't have to keep calling me beautiful. I know I'm not right now and especially not with me getting fat." She nearly whispers.

I chuckle and kiss the tip of Lauren's nose because she is always so adorable after first waking up. "Baby, I tell you you're beautiful and call you beautiful because you are and you deserve to hear that. I will gladly spend the rest of my life telling you you're beautiful. You are beautiful even when you cry but I don't like it when you cry unless it's tears of joy. You're even more beautiful being pregnant so don't for one minute think you're fat because you are not. I don't care what size your body is, I love you for you, not just for your body. If you don't like it though, I will stop saying it."

Lauren smiles and kisses my lips. "I love it actually, you know I was not used to hearing that until you started constantly telling me. Even when it was highly inappropriate for you to say things like that to me, I secretly loved it." We both laugh but I honestly don't care if it wasn't appropriate at the time, I was still going to tell her she was beautiful. Hell, I was blown away by how beautiful she is when we first met.

Lauren looks at me, "I'm sorry baby for earlier, I'm a mess with this pregnancy but that's no excuse. I love you and I'm sorry for thinking you were having second thoughts or regrets. Thank you for understanding and for listening to me. I needed that more than I thought. I believe I needed that more than when I talked about all of it in therapy."

I slightly smile as I caress Lauren's face "I know baby and it's fine. I can't say I completely understand how you're feeling but I have heard how pregnancy affects your hormones and emotions. I imagine it's worse when pregnant with twins."

Lauren stares into my eyes and her own eyes become glossy. "I don't want to just sweep everything under the rug or pretend you're okay if you're not. I know it was hurtful. I know my words hurt you and I am so sorry for that."

I shake my head "I promise Lauren, it's not like that at all. Your body is going through a lot of changes and a lot more than a normal pregnancy with you carrying twins. I'm sorry for worrying you by spacing out and for causing you to think that way in the first place. I don't know why it dawned on me so suddenly about my mom but it did."

Lauren runs her fingers through my hair and pulls my face to hers as she captures my lips in a tender kiss. My hand slides down to her lower back and I pull her against me as much as possible with her growing stomach and I let her set the pace with our kiss.

Gently, Lauren pulls away with an adorable smile, causing me to smile and I swear I melt all over again. "You know," Lauren states "when you showed up at the house for the first time and I opened the door, I knew I was in trouble. I was blown away by how gorgeous you were but the way you looked at me and the butterflies I felt, I just knew I was in trouble. Not to mention I was instantly attracted to you and that completely caught me off guard and confused the hell out of me. When you kissed me though, I knew I was in too deep. I still get butterflies from the way you look at me, things you do and the way you love me. I don't ever see that going away. You have changed and grown so much over the past few years and there's nobody better for me to have kids with than you. If our babies feel even half of the love I do from you, they will be so blessed and you are going to be such a great mom. I just know it."

My smile deepens and I know my dimples are really showing. "This was what I first really noticed about you and I swear it made me swoon." Lauren says as she leans in and places a little peck to the dimple in my left cheek. She turns my head enough to get to the other dimple but instead of pecking it, she places an open mouth kiss to that dimple as she rolls her hips and slips one leg between mine. She presses her thigh up against me, causing a wave of pleasure to rip through my body. About that time the doorbell rings causing me to groan even though I know it's probably our dinner. "Who is that?" Lauren questions as she starts pulling away from me with a puzzled look.

I firmly smack her ass and squeeze through her yoga pants. "You are such a tease," I playfully say as I get up from the couch. "And to answer your question, that's our dinner. I ordered us calzones from Ali's Pizzaria." As I make my way to the door, Lauren is right behind me and I know what she wants before she even asks. "Yes baby, I also ordered veggie rolls... two things of veggie rolls actually and with the dipping sauce."

Lauren laughs and says "oh yess, thank you baby" and smacks my ass right as I'm opening the door which the door-dasher definitely saw. He looks between Lauren and I with a stupid grin. His eyes linger a little too long on my wife for my liking. Before I can even make a remark, Lauren nudges me to the side and grabs the food "thank you, pregnant woman here and I have to eat." His grin fades as his eyes drop past her breasts to her growing stomach. "Come on wifey" she calls as she turns away from the door with the food and I just laugh as I close the door and follow my wife to the kitchen. I swear, this woman has me so wrapped around her finger and she doesn't even realize it. If our babies do the same then I'm definitely in trouble but at least it's a good trouble.