Confessions - Part 1

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It felt as if the whole world had stood still and time had stopped in that moment. Just holding her near me again after so long felt right. It was almost as if we were made to fit perfectly in one another's arms. We stood there for a while just taking in the moment. I could feel her heart beating rapidly as she steadied her breath, still crying.

"I am sorry I shouted at you. I really didn't want to upset you." I whispered in the shaky voice I had from crying myself.

She said nothing in response, instead she just held on to me tighter. It was clear that something terrible had happened to her, which only made me feel guiltier for shouting and refusing to talk to her. I gently brushed her face with my thumb trying to dry her tears. It was unlike Estella to cry at all. I thought I was the sensitive one. She would always playfully laugh at me tell me I was too sensitive and console me when I cried at movies or TV shows. Deep down I knew that I would take a lot for Estella to react like this, so I knew that something wasn't right with her.

"I'm here, you don't need to cry Estella. Everything is okay." I said reassuring her. "Come inside and calm down. We can talk and you can tell me what's happened when you're feeling better. Okay?"

She looked up at me and nodded her head in agreement. She let go of our embrace and walked through the doorway closing the door behind her. She sat herself down on my sofa took off her hat revealing her full extent of her of black-and-white hair. It was certainly bold and very different to the dark red hair I was used to seeing her with. Her eyes were bloodshot and she looked exhausted. Now I could see her face properly I could see that she had makeup and dirt down her face and hadn't showered from the fire I saw reported on the news.

My eyes widened as I stared at her in disbelief. I sat next to her ran my fingers through the loose strands of her hair examining the colour. "Your hair." I whispered in disbelief. As the sobering thought finally fully hit me that my suspicions were true and that she actually was the Cruella that I had been reading about.

"You don't hate it do you?" she asked in a quiet tone as her eyes began to well up again.

I shook my head before putting my arm around her and pulling her close to me again to console her.

"You could have told me you were Cruella." I said gently trying not to upset her any more than she already was.

"It wasn't that simple Y/N, you don't know the half of it. I have so much I need to tell you." She whimpered with a troubled look on her face

I kissed the top of her head as she began to cry again. I could tell how emotional she was and I didn't want to push it any further.

"It's okay, I told you, you don't have to tell me what has happened until you feel ready." I delicately explained. "I take it the fire that I heard about on the news last night is one of those things though?"

She nodded her head and muttered a quiet "yes" as her cry started to get a little bit stronger.

"It's okay, I've got you, you're safe now." I said in a consoling tone gently running my fingers across her cheek. "Thank god the news is wrong about your death."

"How about I get you some clean clothes and you take a shower to get rid of the smell of smoke?" I suggested. "It will help you calm down a little bit."

"Sounds good." She responded as she pulled away from me and rubbed her hands over her eyes wiping away her tears. "I don't know what I would do without you."

She gently cupped my face with her hands and just stared at me intently. "I love you." She whispered.

My heart stopped beating for a second and my eyes widened as those three words registered with me. I had dreamed of hearing her say those words to me since the night I realised my feelings for her, but I never imagined it would be like this. I paused for a moment in shock and amazement not knowing how to respond. There was no doubt in my mind that I loved her, but after waiting so long I wasn't expecting her to ever say those words to me.

Before I even had the chance to respond she said it again. But this time in a clearer tone. "I love you Y/N. I wish I would have told you all those months ago when you said it to me, but I was scared. I didn't know how to react, I have never had a proper relationship before. It is not that I didn't feel the same way. I just didn't want hurt you or lose you, like I have with everyone else important to me, and I knew that my plans, that Cruella, was going to put you in danger. So thought it best not to respond at all and to wait for the Cruella business to all end before telling you."

I took a second just to process everything she had just said. I was about to respond when she interrupted me again.

"I am sorry Y/N. You have to believe me, I really do love you, more than anything or anyone in the world. I hope you can forgive me but do I understand if you no longer feel the same."

I leant forward and kissed her lips. "I love you too." I whispered leaning my forehead against hers. "I never stopped loving you."

The most perfect and beautiful smile I had ever seen graced her face before she passionately kissed me and held me in her arm embracing me lovingly.

"No matter how much I love you though, you have to shower because you really do stink." I joked looking up at her and running my thumb across her cheek.

"Okay okay, I am going now. I just had to tell you that, I couldn't wait any longer. I will tell you everything else later, I promise." She replied kissing me once more before getting up and walking towards my bathroom.

She turned to me before leaving the room and looked me in the eyes. "I love you"

"Months I have waited to hear you say that, and now you've told me three times in the space of a few minutes." I giggled shaking my head. "I love you too." I added.

"Well you better get used to it, because I love you and I am never going to let there be another day where I do not tell you that. I promise that I will tell you every day until the day I die."

"It's a little bit soon to be talking of death. Especially after last night." I replied.

"Well I am not dead yet, you can't get rid of me that easily." She giggled before leaving the room to go and shower.

Whilst she showered I sat on my bed just processing everything that had happened that day. There was still so much she hadn't told me, but I already knew that whatever had been going on with her these past few months was serious. I was so anxious for her to tell me the full story. I was just glad she came back to see me and that she was safe. The idea of her being in any danger broke my heart. All I knew was that from now I need her to stay safe, I had already lost too many people, and I couldn't cope losing her again. 

AN- thank you for reading. I am really enjoying reading the comments and hearing feedback. 

Love your resident emma stone simp, B x 

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