One Day At A Time

Chapter Sixteen: Open Your Eyes

As the days go on, Ava's dreams of cuddling and kissing Lilly happen over and over again, almost every night.

She does the one quest in "Skyrim" that's related to romance and she replays it many times over, watching the characters on the screen fall in love.

It gives her a giddy feeling in her chest, a feeling that's only magnified when she thinks about Lilly.

These are all new feelings, brand new feelings that she has never had before.

She's never really felt something so strong for someone before and she has definitely never thought about someone in the way she thinks about Lilly now.

Ava feels really strongly about Lilly, strong in the way that she thinks about her a lot more now.

And she, almost obsessively, fixates on the idea of being affectionate and touchy with her, affectionate and touchy in a more-than-a-friend way.

She wants to kiss her in the context of something more than friendship.
That thought is also new to her, the wanting to not only be her best friend.

It's a whole new set of thoughts that fills up her mind, thoughts that she's only slightly panicked by.

The newness of it all is what panics her.
It's so many new things that she's never thought of.

She needs to tell someone, she needs help figuring things out.

So, she goes to her friends during lunch in the middle of the week.

The second Lilly leaves to go to the bathroom, Ava blurts out,
"I need help."

Rose and Lucas stare at her in confusion across the table.
"What's wrong?" Rose asks.
"It's about Lilly. I can't stop thinking about her. She's in my dreams."
"What kind of dreams?" Lucas asks her.

"The kind of dreams where we're together all the time."
"What?" Rose and Lucas both ask. "What does that mean?" The both follow up with curiously.

Ava leans over the table and her voice gets softer.
"Where we kiss all the time."

Rose looks at Lucas, mouthing, "Woah" and Lucas turns to Ava, trying his best not to smile.
"So, you have dreams about kissing Lilly all the time... how can we help?"
"I-I don't know what it means and, and Lilly went to you guys for help, and I'm freaking out." Ava is talking frantically now, words coming out faster than anyone can really process them. "What do you think this means?"

Ava has half-way put together the answer for herself, but she needs another opinion. Two other opinions.

In spite of himself, a chuckle spits out of Lucas' mouth.
"I think you love Lilly."

Ava thinks on that for a minute, a minute too long, because right as she goes to respond, Lilly is back from the bathroom.

And Ava has to stay calm and not explode when Lilly sits next to her.
It's slightly different now with the phrase, "I think you love Lilly" running around in her head.

When the bell rings a couple minutes later, Ava makes her hug with Lilly a few seconds longer than normal.
It's a thing that none of them notice except for Lilly.

Ava holds Rose back for a minute after Lilly and Lucas walk away.
"Do you think I love Lilly?"
They look at her and say,
"It seems like it, but you have to figure it out for yourself, figure it out in your own heart. Don't stress about it, it's nothing to worry about."

Ava loses sleep that night, pinning together all of her recent thoughts and dreams and desires together.

Lucas had opened her eyes to the idea that she might love Lilly.
That idea has sent her spiraling into thinking too hard about everything.

When the sun comes up the next day, a thought hits her in the head.

Lucas might be right.