One Day At A Time

Chapter Thirty-Three: Take Your Time

Exactly two weeks after their first date, Ava is visiting Lilly's house for the first time in a while.

They had grown comfortable with spending all their time at Ava's house, in Ava's bedroom, since the beginning of time.

But today is different.
Mr. and Mrs. Miller are out of the house on one of their once-in-a-blue-moon date nights.

On their way out the door, Lilly had asked if Ava could spend the night since she was already at the house.
Her parents had said, "Yes" along with, "Don't do anything stupid while we're gone".

Now, a little past six o' clock, her parents are out of the house, meaning that herself and Ava can do whatever they want for the night.

"Whatever they want" starts with a simplistic dinner of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, since that's all either of them could come up with what they had on hand.

After dinner in the kitchen, the night shifts into the two of them on Lilly's bed, looking up at the fairy lights, while any one of Lilly's playlists are playing the on speaker that sits on her dresser.

Their hands are pressed together and besides the music in the room, it's peacefully quiet.
Almost quiet enough for Ava and Lilly to hear each other's breathing.

"Can I ask you something?" Ava questions as softly as she can, breaking the silence.
Lilly turns her head and looks at her.
"Yeah?"
"Would you be okay if I, if I told my, my mom about us? About us being together?"

"You didn't tell her already?"
"No, I wanted to ask you first."
Lilly smiles softly to herself and her heart feels warm.
She gives Ava's hand a gentle squeeze.

"Thanks for asking me first, that means a lot. You can tell her, your mom is cool."

That makes Ava smile, but also slightly worry about how she'll tell her mom.
But her worrying doesn't last long, she doesn't have to tell her right away, she has time.

"Do you think you'll tell your parents?" Ava asks her curiously.
Lilly stiffens at the question and her grip on Ava's hand tightens, like an odd reflex.

Lilly has thought about telling her parents, but the idea of it terrifies her.

Her parents are... relatively supportive of her queerness.
They bought her some sort of rainbow paraphernalia during June one year and they let her hang the lesbian pride flag that Rose bought her for her fourteenth birthday up on her bedroom wall.

But then, they make comments to each other in the living room sometimes, late at night when they think Lilly is fast asleep.

Comments about how, "it'll pass", how her feelings about girls are a temporary thing, about how much her queerness truly bothers them.
They are comments that Lilly hears while she's lying in bed, wide awake.
Comments that hurt.

The comments made the night of her fourteenth birthday still come back every time she looks at the flag.
"Why does she need a flag for that?"
"It's too big, it's too bright. It's too much."

She goes quiet and retreats into her mind for a moment, turning her head to look back up at the lights and the ceiling.

Ava's thumb runs over the back of Lilly's hand and over her knuckles. "I'm sorry. I know your parents are- I-I know they're... I don't know how to say it."