Cinnamon // Sally Face

N i n e t e e n

"I went to a pet store with my friends today," Violet told her parents as the three of them sat down for dinner. This was the first time they've had dinner together since the move. "We saw betta fish."

"Oh yeah? Any good ones?" Her father inquired.

"Yes. Sally and I found a red male with the most beautiful fins."

"Sally," her mother repeated with a smile. "I haven't heard that name in a while. Her parents must be pretty old-fashioned."

Violet decided not to correct her. Who knew when she'd be able to sit down with both of her parents like this again? If she let it slip that Sal was a boy who happened to be her closest friend who sometimes held her hand and told her secrets, the conversation would go south very quickly. "We saw hamsters too, Mom. One of them looked like a panda."

"I had a hamster when I was a little girl. I named him Finn. I used to feed him lettuce and tomatoes."

The young girl opened her mouth to respond, but her father intervened. "How are your grades, Violet?"

Ever since she could remember, Violet's father had very high expectations of her. He wanted her to be the best at everything. Because of this, she was always at the top of her class, the winner of every spelling bee, and even the class president at her old school until the move. When she placed 3rd in the costume contest as a child, he didn't speak to her for days. This became a major issue between her parents, as her mother didn't support his strict tendencies at all. Violet believed that this was one of the major reasons their family stopped eating dinner together.

"Well, Mrs. Packerton wants me to move into her advanced algebra class. I'm being moved this week," she informed him, trying to keep a cheerful tone.

"Why weren't you in there in the first place?"

"I guess I missed it when I was signing up for my classes."

"Classes like that lower your GPA."

"Sebastian!" Her mother hissed. "That's enough!"

"I've worked too hard for that 4.0 GPA for her to just ruin it like it's nothing, Josephine."

"Dad, I've done every extra credit assignment she's offered," Violet interrupted. "I have a 105% in the class. My GPA should be fine."

Things went right back to the way they were when she was little. Her parents were fighting over her grades while she stared down at her plate, pushing food around with her fork. While Violet may not have been fond of her mother's obsession with cults and paranormal activity, she was confident that she'd always be the first person to defend her when her father started up with his critiques.

It was moments like this that Violet wanted to forget. Since the move, none of it had crossed her mind. Well, not until now. She'd much rather go back to the times when every night was a "fend for yourself" night and everyone ate in separate rooms. At least nobody could fight. 

"You should be congratulating your daughter right now and yet you're criticizing her!"

"She was irresponsible."

"She is a child, Sebastian!"

"She's practically an adult!"

"Do you know how many parents pray for children that are half as smart as she is?! Cut her some slack! It's a stupid algebra class, who cares?"

"Don't listen to her, Violet."

"No, honey, you don't listen to him. You're doing amazing and we're both very proud of you."

Violet didn't look up from her plate. Instead, she stabbed a pea with her fork and watched its contents fall out onto her plate. She wasn't hungry anymore. Her vision was growing blurry as tears welled up in her eyes. Why couldn't things just work out? Why couldn't anything she did be good enough for her father? Why couldn't her parents just work things out and love each other again? 

Suddenly, she felt her phone buzz in her pocket.

Messages

Larry: 6:34 PM
come 2 the basement

Violet: 6:35 PM
Why?

Larry: 6:35 PM
bc i said

End of Messages

It wasn't difficult to sneak away from the table without her parents noticing. They were to consumed in their argument to even look in her direction. Violet grabbed a jacket off of the coat rack on the way out and draped it over her shoulders. She always kept her keycard to the basement in the pocket of it. 

The sound of her parents arguing bounced off the walls of the otherwise silent hallway. After all these years, it killed her inside to hear them talk to each other the way they did. A tear slipped down her cheek as she made her way toward the elevator, which she quickly wiped away. She couldn't let Larry see her act like such a baby. His parental situation was much worse than hers. She had no right to be crying like this around him.

Violet tried to fit as many deep breaths and relaxation techniques she could into the short elevator ride to the basement. Unfortunately, it wasn't quite enough to calm her down. In fact, the pressure to relax just may have made her feel worse. 

"Stop it, you big baby," she whispered to herself as she approached Larry's apartment. "You're acting stupid."

Tears rolled down her cheeks one after the other, no matter how many times she rubbed her eyes. The more she scolded herself and wiped her face, the more flustered she became. But Violet couldn't begin to consider how to stop this vicious cycle as her shaky hand knocked on Larry's door. 

She was met with Lisa, who gave her a gentle smile. "Hey, honey. You know where to find the boys—are you alright?"

"Mhm," Violet squeaked, flicking a tear off of her cheek. "I'm just fine. Allergies, ya know?"

"Uh huh... Well, let me know if you need anything. I'm happy to help."

"Thank you."

"Any time, Violet."