Love Expectations (Season 1 of Nata and Phillip's Romance) ✔️

7. 'What I'm in need of'

Natalia

The V of the T-shirt Kate lent me plunges almost to my belly button. Combined with the only pair of her pants that fit my butt but hug every curve, I look like I'm off to interview as a stripper, instead of heading out to manage my lab at a highly competitive pharmaceuticals company. Today might be the day when wearing a lab coat is going to be a positive.

My back twinges when I bend to place the folded blanket over the sheets and a stiff pillow on Kate's couch.

"Why d'you bother? Just leave the bedding out." Kate peers at me from the kitchen corner of her studio apartment. She welcomed me with open arms when I took a ride-share here Friday night, instead of going home with Samson. I'm not sure how many more nights in addition to the three I already spent on Kate's foldout IKEA couch that's been with her since her college days will I survive without getting a permanent back injury. She pours the drip coffee—I only accept not to offend my friend—into two to-go mugs. "You're coming here tonight. Right? You aren't going to let that asshole talk you into going back to him."

Samson's not an asshole, not really. Which is the main reason I stayed with my colleague and best friend here over the weekend, instead of returning to the apartment he and I have been sharing for four years. My fiancé... Heat flares in the middle of my stomach. My ex-fiancé is not a bad man. He's just not who I thought he was.

"First." I curl my fingers around the tumbler, focusing on the smooth metal surface, instead of the fury in my gut. "I'm a guest who's overstaying her welcome and I don't want you to think I'm making your apartment a mess—"

"Have you seen my apartment?" Kate points to the piles of things stacked by the wall, her unmade bed, the kitchen counter covered in books and papers, and a long-dead plant I can't identify.

I fluff the decorative pillow that says "Happy Easter" even though it's August. "That's your mess. I don't need to be contributing."

Kate moves her hand in a give-me-more gesture. "And..."

"What?" I take a sip. The acidic liquid fills me with instant regrets.

"You said first. What's second? Tell me you're not caving into Samson's texts to go home." Kate puts her palms together as if in prayer and makes a pleading kitten face that her large green eyes are perfect for. "Tell me you are not..."

I turn away from Kate's cartoonish stare. "We needed the time apart to cool down and think things through. But we'll have to talk. We've been together for ten years."

My throat has a lump I struggle to swallow. I busy myself stuffing my badge into my tiny, sequenced bag and fail to wrap my head around a life where Samson is no longer my partner. More than half of my adult life it's been Samson and Natalie. He had a college girlfriend before, but since our first date it's been him and me. I didn't have to worry where he learned what we did in bed, because ninety percent of our repertoire we acquired together.

We did everything together.

Everything made sense.

Was reliable.

Solid.

I press my palm on my mouth to keep the anguish in.

"Are you okay?" Kate takes the three steps that separate the kitchen nook and the couch.

I shake my head. "No. I'm not. I just...People like us don't break up like that. Friday night was my knee-jerk reaction. Outside of normal."

Kate lays her hands on my tense shoulders and massages them.

"I was stressed about the event." My mind plays back Samson's words. "And him bringing it up was the final straw—"

"It? Now kids are an it?" The indignation I felt when I threw my engagement ring at Samson is fully present in Kate's voice.