Love Expectations (Season 1 of Nata and Phillip's Romance) ✔️

25. 'Take your underwear off'

Nata

With his glare firmly on me, Phillip takes out the cuff links, tugs off his shirt as he backs away from me and opens the door to what I correctly assumed was the bedroom. His shirt joins his belt and my clothes somewhere on the floor. The bedroom we enter is larger than mine and has a view I lack on my lower floor. But my eyes focus on a different view, one of Phillip on the bed. I'm stuck in my spot in the doorway, watching him take off his pants, leaving him in nothing but navy boxer-briefs.

The tightness in my chest mixes with the heat that is traveling across my ribs and below my belly button. Goosebumps cover me head-to-toe while my face is hot and my insides are liquid. I'm a lava cake. Even though my experience over the last ten years was limited to Samson's body, I've seen enough naked men on screens to know what an aroused man looks like, and if I had any doubts Phillip won't be able to perform his side of the deal, I don't have those anymore.

He presses his palms into the edge of the bed and his biceps flex. On purpose or not, they make my already parched by alcohol mouth even drier. Phillip's gaze slides across my body and reflects the light of the sun from the window. "Ready?"

My heart nosedives into my stomach, but I nod. I want this. Phillip keeps watching me like he wants this too. A whisper from my brain suggests I'm in danger, but I know I'm in control. If I say stop, he'll stop. I don't want us to stop, though. Whatever happens is better than nothing happening.

I walk to his side of the bed and stand as close to his knees as I can without touching him. For all my talk about doing the deed, I don't have the slightest idea of how to start the series of actions that will get me to the finishing line. My fingers don't feel like my own. The hot lava in my stomach burns with the need I have no business feeling. I lift my hand and lower it, uncertain and entirely too hesitant.

"What would you like me to do?" His voice is low and sends chills across my neck as his breath lands there. The chills are not the freezing kind. Phillip's almost pained expression heats my skin. The goosebumps from earlier disappear. I'm officially on fire, and it's consuming the oxygen in my lungs. We don't need a fireplace or jackets to raise our temperatures.

What would I do if this were Samson? I never felt this level of fear and excitement around Samson. Our sex life was good. Frequent enough to make me happy yet not interfere with my school or work obligations and resulting in orgasms for both of us. With Samson intimacy was measured, controllable, easy, and made me feel exactly how I wanted: comfortable and sated. With Samson I've never felt like I'll both explode and fall through the ground if he touches me. Phillip's breath quickens against my neck, as he clutches the bedspread. The control I'm after titters.

Would the lava in me cool or burn hotter at Phillip's touch? Only one way to find out. I take his hand and place it on the lace of my underwear. The hypocrisy of me saying this is a biological and business transaction yet buying a new set of lingerie for the occasion is not lost on me. But I wanted to make sure he would want me. That he'll find me appealing enough for biology to take its course.

I glance at the tip of his penis peeking from the waistband of his boxer-briefs. Mission accomplished. I bite my lip and stay still.

His fingers hook on both sides of my panties and lower them. My turn to take a heavy breath. I look at the air vent on top of the wall behind him, because I don't want to see on his face what he thinks of my body. His opinion or reaction don't matter as long as he can stay hard and come. That's what I need.

"Next?"

Why is he making me be in charge? I dig my nails into the palm of my hand.

"Now you," I say to the wall.