MOON • bts

26

I tried my hardest to avoid visiting the hospital for the next couple of months. I went with Yoongi and Hoseok a couple of times because we had to discuss the album with Namjoon. But other than that, I steered clear. Most of my days were filled with chasing around the Maknae line and helping out Hoseok, Yoongi, and Jin with chores and other things. My music writing had taken a backseat.

Every day I would question why I was still here, and why I didn't just go back to America, where I would be more comfortable. I came to Korea to write and make music, not to make this a home, and most definitely not to avoid falling more in love with someone that I can't even be with. Now to Olivia, this was what heaven was like. When I told her about my feelings for Namjoon, she just added more fuel to the fire, saying how lucky I was to be even breathing the same air as the boys.

Olivia was actually planning to come to Korea, but she had texted me last night saying that she couldn't make plans anymore because there was no one to take over the cafe if she left. I have been missing her company a lot and realized that being around boys all the time well... could be better.

I was making some Japchae for lunch when my phone buzzed.

text from Namjoon-ssi

Namjoon-ssi: Good Afternoon, Moon-ssi. It's been a while. I was actually wondering if you could come over with some of your equipment. I came up with a few ideas for the album, and I thought you could help me out. Let me know!

Moon: Yeah, sure! I can be there in an hour.

I replied without thinking, knowing that if I thought any longer my brain would explode from the overthinking. I mean, I can just go, help him for a little bit, and then leave. I can just pretend that he doesn't affect me... right? Plus, I had not got the chance to write anything in a while, so this might be good for me.

I got ready to leave, packing him some Japchae to go.

-

I stood face to face at his door, my palms were sweating, and my mind was racing. On the other side of this door was the man that I had grown fond of over the last months. The man I literally could not go more than an hour without thinking of. I took a deep breath, making myself a promise that no matter what, I would not fall harder.

I knocked softly, and Namjoon's deep voice responded. "Come in!"

I placed the bag of food down on his side table, not making eye contact with him. I could tell his eyes were on me.

"Thank you for coming." He smiled. I smiled back, hesitantly unpacking my belongings and plugging them in. Namjoon watched my every move. Externally, I probably came across as normal, or so I hoped, but internally, I was panicking.

Once it was all set up, it was silent. Awkward and silent. Namjoon cleared his throat.

"So, Namjoon-ssi, how have you been feeling?"

"Good. The doctor said I am doing a lot better, hopefully I can come home soon." He peeled away the blanket and started to shift out of his bed. He seemed to have gained back a lot of physical strength, seeing as just some months ago he was almost unable to lift his arm. Once he got down from his bed, he slowly started to make his way towards the washroom. I pouted at the way he was struggling to walk, only able to take small strides with his boot.

"I'll be right back." He said as she disappeared into the room. I let out a sigh, feeling like I was able to breath for the first time since I got here.

After a couple of minutes, Namjoon came back to the main room.

"Do you have the stuff set up? I had a melody in mind, and I wanted to record it and keep it so that when I can finally go back to work I won't be worried about losing it."

I call bullshit. I mean, normally I'm a nervous wreck in front of him, but this reasoning made no sense. He couldn't just....record it on his phone for later? Why couldn't he call Yoongi? Or literally any of the other boys?

Either way, I went along with it. "Sure, we can record it."

Namjoon began teaching me the melody that he had been thinking of, which to me, seemed like he was actually just making it up on the spot. Surprisingly, it was actually a really nice melody.

I used the mic to record my voice, and after playing it back to Namjoon and getting his approval, we moved on to creating the structure of the song.

For the next hour or so we worked together to assemble the song. Every now and then we would make eye contact, but just as quickly as we did, we looked away, knowing that any gazes that were kept for too long would be dangerous.

We had just about finished up until the bridge, and I was about to exit the software before Namjoon's hand stopped mine. His hand practically engulfed my hand, so much so, that you couldn't even see my hand anymore. My breath was caught, and I stared out our hands.

"Y-You didn't s-save it." He let out. My cheeks went red. Of course I didn't. He hesitantly let go of my hand, his fingers grazing over mine.

I quickly saved the file and stood up, excusing myself to the washroom.

I splashed cold water in my face repeatedly. My cheeks were hot, puffy, and red, and unfortunately there was nothing I could do about it. After straightening out my hair and checking my clothes, I decided to return before it seemed suspicious.

I re-entered the room to see Namjoon scrolling on his phone, on one side of the couch. Making my way back to the other side of the couch, I examined him. The way his hair was so perfectly placed with one strand hanging over his forehead or the way his eyebrows would arch when he saw something on his phone.

My thoughts about him were cut short when I realized I had tripped on one of the cables, and was now about to probably fall face first into the ground. I closed my eyes, accepting my fate.

Just as I thought I was going to hit the ground, I felt a strong, firm hand around my waist, and another one on my shoulder.

I opened my eyes to be met with Namjoon's piercing gaze. I had fallen over him. His eyebrows were furrowed in worry, and his eyes were scanning my face. He broke eye contact and scanned all the way down my body, as if he was making sure I wasn't hurt.

"I-I'm so sorry, Namjoon-ssi! T-Thank you for c-catching me!" I stood up quickly, and bowed, feeling embarrassed. Namjoon just chuckled lightly. "It's okay, seems like you're more clumsy than me.." He smirked.

He stood up, and looked me up and down. "Are you sure you're okay? Nothing hurts right?"

I took a step back, realizing that he was now coming towards me.

"N-No, I'm okay! Again, I-I am so sorry, I know you're just recovering, I didn't me-" I stopped talking when I realized that my back had hit a wall. Namjoon kept inching forward, closing me in.

"I said it was okay." He repeated in a soft, low voice.

"Namjoon-ssi, wha-" He placed one hand above my head and looked me in the eye. His eyes kept flickering between my eyes and my lips.

"Yes or no?" He asked. My eyebrows furrowed. I stayed silent.

"Yes or no?" He asked again. His face was now just inches away from mine. My heart was racing. I gulped.

"I-"

"Yes or no?" He asked more firmly, locking me in by placing his other hand on the wall.

"Ye-" Before I could even finish my answer, Namjoon closed the gap between us. His hands found their way to my waist, replacing the cold, hard wall behind me. For a moment, I was taken aback, but when I finally realized what was happening, my arms snaked around his neck, and I melted into him.

It was as if a shock of electricity shot up through my body. It was as if we were made for each other, and this moment solidified it. It was as if the tension that had been brewing ever since we met each other had finally been released, and now, without words, we fought to express the way we felt about each other.

Namjoon pulled away, melting into my small frame, and placing his head in the crook of my neck. "You're perfect." He mumbled. The feeling of his lips on my neck sent shivers all over my body.

"You're perfect." He repeated.