kit's POV
after helping yaz choose a film for the group to watch, we all settled down around the tv. joe, bash and will are all squeezed together on the couch. meanwhile, yaz, tobie, eileen and i are on the floor.
and for some reason, yaz owns a very small amount of blankets so we had to get into groups of two and share. the three guys on the couch are sharing one big knitted cover. yaz and tobie are sitting together with a small blanket wrapped around their shoulders. and, last but not least, eileen and i are sharing.
i'm sitting up straight, my back pressed against the couch as i face the tv. with her head on my lap, eileen's full attention is on the screen.
i'll be honest, i've seen this film many times before. but that's why i chose it. it's a classic; one of my favorites. it never gets old, no matter how many times i've watched it.
i look at the girl whose head is on my thighs. my god, her hair is so pretty. the yellow pigment of the strands looks so soft. for some reason, i want to touch it. is that weird? i think that's weird. ignore the fact that i said that.
i look back to the tv, trying to focus my attention on something other than eileen. but i can't.
and before i know it, the move is over. i look up and the credits are crawling up across the screen.
"that was a good film." tobie says, "nice pick, kit."
his eyes then go to the girl on my lap and he looks a little closer, trying to figure something out. what is he doing? is she whispering something to him? i'm so confused.
"is she sleeping?" he finally asks. "it looks like she's fallen asleep on you."
"what?" joe says, his voice a bit too surprised to be considered normal. he hops off the couch and gets in front of her. he looks at her face in pure shock. then he looks at me. "do not move her. do not touch her. and do not wake her up. do you understand?"
i'm a bit taken aback by his demanding tone. "uhh... yeah?"
"why are you being weird, joe?" yaz asks what we're all wondering.
"lee has a really hard time sleeping. it's very severe." he sighs, "that's all i'm telling you guys. it's not my business to share. if you're still curious, i honestly don't blame you. but you should ask her."
after a few more minutes of talking among ourselves, everyone begins to get more tired. the group slowly starts to die off as they all one-by-one go to sleep.
before long, i'm the last one awake.
with eileen on my lap and everyone around me sound asleep, i feel at peace. a feeling i haven't felt in quite some time. being an actor is hard. all this attention on me is suffocating. but my friends and family provide with just enough air i need to keep going.
i've got an air-tank on my back, keeping me from drowning under all the pressure. but tanks like this only last but so long. and i can tell, i could be able to tell since my very first gig as an actor. it's an overwhelming and very stressful. not to mention how draining it is to keep all of my fans happy and maintain good mental health.
but when i first heard one of eileen's songs on the radio when i was about fifteen, the tank was suddenly full. i wasn't so overwhelmed. her music made me feel safe. heard. understood.
then, i met joe who just so happened to be best friends with my idol.
when i messaged her for the first time -- well, when we were put in a group chat together -- and i got to talk to her, it was better than i could have ever imagined. her personality and sense of humor was all so real. like she wasn't faking anything.
the way she spoke and acted on her interviews was just about the exact same as how she was in real life.
now, that same girl. that same idol of mine. that same voice that played on the radio and has managed to single handedly keep my air-tank full of oxygen is sleeping on me. and as i drift off into a dreamless slumber, i continue to remember how lucky i am.
☆ ★ ☆
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𝑺𝑳𝑼𝑴𝑩𝑬𝑹 - 𝐤𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐫 { ✓ }
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