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i sit at the small table in my parent's house. i eat a bowl of cereal like i used to do every morning before school.

isn't it funny how something as simple as eating breakfast can bring back an entire swarm of memories from years ago? i think so.

"good morning, my love." mom says, kissing my forehead.

i have two moms. i call one of them 'mom'. while i call the other i call 'momma'. the press doesn't know this. nobody does except for joe.

not because i'm ashamed of it, but because i'm scared. i don't want random fans of mine showing up at their house or stalking them. they don't deserve something as stressful as that.

"good morning, mom." i reply.

she walks into the kitchen and gathers some food from the fridge. mom packs it into a bag for lunch to eat while she's at work.

"i heard about your new album." she tells me, sitting across from me at the table. "the songs are beautiful. i always knew you'd go far with that amazing voice of yours."

i smile, "thank you, mom."

"however," she continues, "one song in particular caught my attention over the rest."

i already know where this is going. she must be referring to slumber.

my moms both are very interested in my love life. they're not pushy or annoying about it. they're just curious. and honestly, i can't blame them.

i've only dated two people in my entire life. one girl, one guy.

my relationship with the girl — whose name was adira — lasted about six months. she was an angel and i don't regret dating her. not one bit.

we were friends for years before we started going out. she was my first relationship, too. i was fifteen.

she taught me how to love.

i'm still friends with her, even today. we're not very close anymore but we text every now and then. she'll ask me how my music career is coming along, i'll ask her about her family. and that's it.

joe approved of mine and adira's relationship. although, he certainly did not approve of my relationship with the second person i dated. nolan.

i was seventeen, my career was finally starting to kick off. i had a large following on social media and tons of fans asking for more music.

and when i went on tour for the first time, i met a guy named nolan.

he asked for my autograph and i gave it to him, not thinking much of it. however, a few days later, on my flight back to london, we met again. he sat in the seat next to me.

we talked for almost the entire flight — which lasted seven hours — and quickly became friends. we exchanged phone numbers and we met up at a restaurant a week later.

i was still wary about meeting new people so i took joe with me.

nolan and i talked a lot and i realized that i really liked him. on the other hand, joe hated him.

he said that nolan was manipulative. i disagreed. he also said that it's a huge red flag when guys refuse to pay for the meal. i disagreed with that, too. money wasn't an issue for me. i was a celebrity.

fast forward a few days and nolan and i are dating.

he instantly wanted to start making out and doing more touchy things with me. even after i told him i wasn't ready.

fast forward another couple months and i finally gave in. in other words, i lost my virginity to a man who only liked me for my body and my money.

i was in that horrible, toxic relationship for a year.

i finally broke up with him after he demanded that i wasn't allowed to hang out with joe anymore. i told him to go fuck himself. and that was the end of our relationship.

it's been almost a year since nolan and i separated and i still feel like my body isn't entirely mine. like a piece of it was given to him.

"who were you describing?" mom asks.

"what?"

"in your song, slumber, who were you describing?" she asks, again. "you don't sing many love songs so i was very surprised when i listened to it for the first time."

"me too." i tell her before she gives me a questioning look. "i was surprised when i wrote it."

"is it true what everyone is saying? that the song is about your friend, kit connor?"

my moms are like my best friends — after joe. i tell them almost everything. and i only say almost because they don't know about how i lost my virginity. they still think it was consensual. well, technically it was. but it wasn't wanted, y'know?

the point is, i trust them.

"yeah." i admit with a small smile. "they're right. it's about kit."

mom chuckles, standing up and ruffling my hair. "he sounds like a good guy, lee. momma and i want to meet him soon, okay?"

"okay." i reply with a laugh.

"i have to go to work now." she says, opening the front door. "i love you, lee."

"i love you too, mom."

☆  ★  ☆

sorry it was so long (900 words btw) but this chapter was purely to introduce more of eileen's past and her previous love life hope ya'll enjoyed :)

𝑺𝑳𝑼𝑴𝑩𝑬𝑹 - 𝐤𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐫  { ✓ }Donde viven las historias. Descúbrelo ahora