𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

Blank page, Full mind.

I've stared at this page for over two days. The content of it being blank, unlike my brain, which has been in a frenzy. I've never seen my days this busy...

My life is starting to transition and for me to be in higher positions, I have to make some big girl decisions.

Acting out of impulse is no longer acceptable. The things I now decide will represent the rest of my life and some things just aren't reversible.

I often find myself in intense moments of silence. Looking out at the world with a balled fist and emotional guard of a bricked wall, standing firm and tall.

Thinking about the many people my age that now rest in a coffin really makes me thank God for the blessing that I'm still alive and walking...

When I write these words I'm not just talking, I'm feeling and revealing hidden parts of me that no one has ever seen.

Some people have hurt me, and I've done some hurtful things. Nobody alive is free from emotional darings. Nobody alive doesn't have something to deal with, some hard truth that they have to live with.

It's no secret because nobody is perfect.

It's ok to have some flawed imperfections and to at one point had some bad emotional connections or painful addiction and raged aggression... as long as you can be sent from it.

I stared at this page for two days.

Thinking and wondering what could I say.. to project the way I'm feeling. Putting these words down on this page brings me a mental healing.

What could I say to help the people feel me? All I have to give is the truth to my identity.

The messiness of my mind connects with the straight line in life that I walk alongside. My feet like a pen that trailed off, slurring my words and hurrying my thoughts while blurring my guide.

Blurred lines turn my sight to blind.

I then walk with confusion and impatience until the page is turned, God sending me a message allowing my light to return, and my words to realign with the now, curved line.

Still with a chaotic mind, and not a lot of room left to think, after two days, I can finally see.

I walk with caution, awaiting the next turn of the page, I might have to result to crawling when the next curve hits me.

- Donna