𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

A Lonely Love

"The girl was too stunned to speak"

I've been sitting here, silently, my brain running rapidly as all the things you told me run through my head..

The memories of me lying in your bed..

The feeling of your touch on my hand.

Every time I think I'm up, life gives me a reason to believe that being down just may not be the worst thing.

The fall is easy, because you don't have far to go.

and I swear, people always come rolling in, kicking me when I least expect and putting my ego and pride back in check.

Making sure I remember that I'm just the girl who always gets left.

I'm still happy for you though...

Just like the other guys, you took your piece of me, praising all of my being and saying how much I am of a blessing and appreciating my understanding, yes you are just like them, why?

Because,
When you're done stating your piece, when you're done with loving me or caring for me as you say, then you're gone by day.

Going on to grow and share a love I wanted for me and you with a woman who has more to show.

But it's never been about the audience for me, I don't care who sees.. I just wanted something to hold on to, and know that it would still be here for me despite if it was morning, noon, night or evening.

Any time of day when you called I'd be there, but I can't even get a response past five because you're caught up in the next girls hair!?

and you can't even lie and give some petty excuse as to why I'm always the one on the back burner because you're not the only one whose put me last and pushed me like the chip on their shoulder!

The older women say, "Oh girl you haven't seen anything yet.."

Well if this love thing gets worse as I grow older then I may just have to be alone, because I refuse to continue enduring a pain like this for people who can simply move on and dim my light, flickering like a candle.

and, with every day I hurt, and wake up the next with a ready made smile and strength to carry on, just shows me how much I didn't know what I could truly handle.

Balancing everything in life, trying to keep my head on steady while my emotions run messily, eventually draining like water ran in a sink.

Letting go of bad habits and trying to remain true to me...

I was too stunned to speak.

Stuttering with every word,
how are my knees so weak when you just told me a story that'll have me crying for weeks?

Things change when I least expect them.. and sometimes my mind just can't accept it.

But of course.. I must carry on.
Caring with a heart that's been left unattended for far too long.

Maybe things were better... when I didn't have an explanation as to why you left me, pained and forsaken.

Sadly enough.. I can't say never again, because you and I both know,

I give, chance, after chance.

But still, no one has ever offered me that gesture, allowing for me to pour my love to them and it go appreciated and held onto.

When you're gone..
I guess I'll have to move on too.

I've never heard of love to be so lonely.. yet I live and give, to be left to pick up what I have left and continue on that sad journey.

My heart, left yearning.

- Donna