The Deep End

Chapter 38

•Polina•

The remainder of our ride is spent in silence, neither of us really knowing what to say to the other. I don't care much for the quiet right now. I quickly find myself lost in my head, thoughts of the years since Isay died and how much my life changed filling my mind. I try to remember my life when he was alive, picture my Moms face and will the sound of her voice to play through my head for the first time in years, but it's as if all the good has been erased by the bad.

Instead I focus on the way my fathers enraged shouts would send Sofia into a wailing fit that made her entire body tremble as a toddler. I remember the one and only time my fathers men found Aleksandra sneaking out of the house and how our father didn't let her leave her room for two months afterward. The longer I'm left to myself the darker my thoughts grow. Like the first time my father made me watch his men torture a man who had betrayed him. I can still feel the pressure from his fingers as they framed my eyes, forcing them to remain open so I didn't miss any part of it. It happened over and over again. He said it was necessary that I be conditioned quickly to death or it would make it harder for me to take a life and that would always be part of being Pahkan. I'd go home and lie in bed, tossing and turning for hours, willing the sound of their screams to go away but they never truly did. I witnessed it so many times they eventually merged together and faded to a distant buzz.

My fingers dig into the material of my tactical vest as I force myself out of my head. My past is not something I want to focus on right now. Deep inhales and slow exhales calm my racing heart until the organ settles at a steady pace and my past is nothing but a distant memory.

With a few blinks of my eyes my surroundings come back into focus and I notice we're already inside the DeLuca Community. I take in the houses as we drive until the familiar sight of Enzo's greets me. It's a beautiful two story home built of white and gray stone with a black roof and black double doors that I know have gold hardware. The outside is well kept, not that I expected anything less from Enzo, with manicured shrubs and flower beds lining the exterior. The attached garage has two large black doors and the driveway is a shiny, stamped concrete.

I feel a pang in my chest as we pass by, leaving behind the only place that has ever started to feel like home to me. Even the thought sounds ridiculous to me knowing I was held captive there and if I hadn't experienced it myself I'd say it was insane, but it became so much more than anything I could've expected.

We continued our drive past various homes until we came to a stop at the end of a cul-de-sac. The yard is filled with Enzo's men. They look like a branch of the military instead of made men, standing shoulder to shoulder in their all black tactical gear.

I open the door and slip out, watching as Luca guides my father inside the house. Enzo waits by the door, his eyes focused solely on me, letting me know he's not going inside until I do. My attention shifts to Vero, being sure to  step out of the way when he grabs Aleksandra and gets out behind me, draping her over his shoulder and ignoring her cursing. I follow behind as he makes his way to the house, his arm gripping her legs tighter against his chest as she begins to wriggle.

I can't help but look over at Enzo as Vero enters the house, allowing myself a second to take in the handsome features on his face before I step over the threshold. I continue forward under his heavy gaze, feeling him behind me just before I hear the sound of the front door shutting.

Vero doesn't bother asking where to go, he follows the few men in front of him down a hall to a set of stairs that leads to what seems to be a basement. Aleksandra snaps at Vero incoherently as we descend the stairs and he mutters something back to her, keeping his voice low. Whatever it is he says causes her to instantly freeze and she doesn't say another word.