BLUE BLOOD

46 | [gloria rosario]

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I knew how to make messes, but I never learned how to clean them up.

I never had to. After all, my father cleaned them up for me. In first grade, I yanked on a girl's hair so hard, she ended up with a bald spot. Father bought her mother off. I don't even remember this girl's name, but I do remember that she borrowed my pencil and broke it.

In middle school, when all of us played a game, I made another mess. This game was one of my favorites. Lights Out. I think Cole proposed we play it, but essentially, when it was close to midnight, we'd play hide and seek in the dark. Only, no one knew who the hider was and no one knew who the seeker was.

If you were a hider and got caught, you owed your seeker a secret. If you were a seeker and never found a hider, you owed a hider a secret.

Secrets. 

We grew up with them.

What was the mess I made? I ended up in the closet of a dark room. A guy caught a girl and she was forced to spill a secret. I recorded her because it was one of the most embarrassing confessions I've heard. Then, I played it in front of the whole school when she was nominated for president. 

"But daddy," I had whined to my Father when he threatened to cut me off as punishment. "You know I did it to win. Look. I'm elected as president of my grade now. She was just in the way."

That convinced my powerful father. In fact, he was proud of me. He was Senator Rosario and he didn't become and stay senator by waiting.

But in high school, I made a mess my parents could not clean up for me.

I got pregnant.

Cole Asto was the father of my son.

It was a mistake. A stupid mistake. In high school, everything changed. Wild things happened. Alcohol was suddenly integral in our lives. Parties overtook my life because I already had everything else. 

Beauty? Check. 

Wealth? Check. 

Power? Check. 

Popularity? Double check.

I wasn't even sure how I ended up in bed with Cole Asto, but I remember telling him it was my first time. I was so naïve, then, so heartbroken over Avery Dragomir. He had gotten engaged, albeit forcefully, with Satin. 

From what Satin gushed about, he said he had been willing to give a relationship a try since they were practically bound together. None of us were surprised that Avery started to resent her, but all of us were surprised that the engagement could be broken. It was set in stone, but I guess if you're a Du Sang, you carved new stones whenever you wanted.

Three weeks after that night with Cole, I realized I was late. I had been crying on call with Cole and though we never wanted a relationship, he still came over with a pregnancy test. 

I tested positive.

The look on Cole's face was permanently etched into my memory. He left without another word and I cried to my parents, thinking they could clean this up for me.

Now my father represented the Republican party. An abortion was out of question, but not because he had the conservative values, but because he couldn't risk smearing his campaign if one of his competitors found out.

My mother? She was truly conservative and refused for an abortion. What made it even worse was the look of shame on her face. As if she could not even look at me because of how much I humiliated her.