Drowning in Poetry

The Demon of Deformity

There's something wrong with me
I look in the mirror
And all that I see
Are words written on my body
Disease, defect, disorder

Does anyone understand
To hate your own body?
Not how it looks, but what it is
Does anyone else
Hate their own DNA?

I wish this is all just dream
And I'll wake up soon
And not be a freak
I'd be a normal person
Without a deformity

I'm not right
I'm a bug, one big glitch
I'm not meant to be this way
But nature had another say

I had to be different
I had to be a freak
I'm so messed up
That my back
Is smaller than my feet

I want to die
I don't want to live this way
Not like this, not deformed

No one understands
I've never had operations
But my drawers fill with hospital bands
But there is not a thing anyone can do
About the diagnosis

They make me stab myself
With a needle everyday
Because I won't change without it
They want me to change
They don't like me the way I am
How do you think that affects a little girl?

Because it did
It affected her so much
The thing that really changed her
Wasn't the needle she used
Because she needed to change
It was knowing that
Everyone wants to change her

Nobody else understands
Being forced to change,
Hating your own coding,
Being deformed

I'm alone in this fight
But why do I have to fight?
Because my doctors said?
They're making me fight myself
I'm just fighting my own flesh
Battling my own DNA

I don't want to keep fighting