Drowning in Poetry

Honest

you want honest?
here you go
my heart is out on the line here
no meaningful metaphors,
just meaningful truths

i miss you
i miss everyone
i see you guys all the time
together
in pictures and videos
all over
and they should make me haopy
because you guys are my friends
and you guys look happy
but it doesn't
every single thing i see just makes me more sad and makes me miss all of you even more
and it makes me want to cry

this is rushed and terrible and it'll probably never amount to anything
but that's okay
it's honest
and it's making me feel a whole lot more than some of my other poems

every time i see these pictures and videos
it makes me think,
"i would be there with them if i chose differently"
and it reminds me of near the end of last year
where i got so emotional because i was so terrified of losig all of you
then that photo where i realized i loved him as a friend made me realize that was inevitable,
that i was bound to lose all of you
and i told you all this
and you said what everyone says:
we'll still keep touch
but now i realize
that my fear has come true
bo matter how much we talk
i've lost you
all of you
and i miss you
i still love you, of course
i don't think i'll ever stop
but i feel deprived
like i'm missing out
we've drifted apart so far already
and it scares me
how much further will we have drifted in a few months?
a year?
by the time we finish high school?
i don't want to drift
i want to swim back
i still love all of you
and you've drifted away already