Tatted

LIVING THE NIGHTMARE

"Pretty brown eyes and a mind full of thoughts."

*****

TYLER'S POV

"It's all here?"

Outside the restaurant's back door was the abandoned parking lot that was previously used by the building beside mine. The flickering street lights were spotlights for shadows. The night had veiled upon us, translating the sky into a pitch black where the only natural light was gleaming stars. Down the concrete stairs was the dumpster where I dispose of the garbage everyday. Cracking bricks on the walls, not a patch of grass in sight. The view was familiar.

I nodded my head. My eyebrows were raised waitingly as I silently pleaded to return back inside.

I was about to shut the door when his voice stopped me, "Mike heard you got a girl now."

My body froze, my shoes nailed to the floor. I felt my stomach drop as dread filled me.

I hid my worry with a scoff. "What does he know?" My voice thick with falsified sarcasm.

"Listen man, you gotta be careful. You haven't exactly been on time." Gabriel warned.

"I know. I'm careful."

I tried to shut the door again but he continued speaking, "Mike doesn't play around, Cruz. One more mess up and he'll get to her."

I took a deep breath. "She's protected. I can deal with Mike by myself."

That was a complete lie. The only protection Gia had was me, and that was the way I planned it to be for as long as possible. I don't trust anybody else.

"Alright, Cruz." He sighed disappointedly. "If you ever need me, I'm here."

I smiled as if to say thank you and he finally walked away.

It was difficult to admit to myself but Gabriel was right. I'm already in deep shit with Mike. Bringing Gia around is only going to make things worse.

We both know that Mike doesn't like to go directly to his target. Ever. He likes to loiter around, hurting the target by hitting everyone around them first.

Gia was safe- I assured myself. I've protected her with everything I had, but things are getting serious now and she's going to need more than just me soon.

I never realized how much this had infiltrated my life in only a few years. It had never been this serious. I had always thought of this as more of a side-job to me, a hobby.

But now it was different. Now that there's a life other than mine on the line.

I held Gia's hand as we walked to the car, her fingers locked between mine. Her expression was one of peace, and seemingly, I looked peaceful as well but inside I was really worried. I would have to tell Gia soon before something happened.

I wanted to tell her long before. I wanted to tell her when I first saw her at Michael's house. But it was so difficult- the thought that I was dangerous for her. The idea that as soon as I let the news slip she would leave me. The fact that she'd most likely fear me.

I didn't want to attack her with a terror when she was finally living a dream. When she had just woken up from her nightmare. I wanted her to savour this time she had, the freedom she gained. I wasn't ready to puncture her with reality.

Inside of the car she began speaking, "Are you okay, Tyler? You seem upset."

I hated looking miserable around her. I wanted to surround her with complete happiness- the reason why I only smiled around her. I didn't want to concern her with my pain when she was finally healing from hers.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Gorgeous." I assured her. Well, at least I tried my best to assure her but the expression she made proved she was unsure.

"I'm good, Gia." I smiled, placing a hand on her bare thigh. Watching as she melted into my touch.

It was obvious; her reactions to my touch or certain things I said. But I don't think she knew I was aware.

Many times I smiled when she shivered, or her cheeks became rosy, or she bit her lip. Or when her breathing pattern changed, when she visibly gulped, or cleared her throat.

She tried to hide it, but often whatever went on inside her head was easily precipitable. Her thoughts were an open book to me; easy to read.

When we arrived home we were both quiet. The only sound was the jingle of my keys I set on the countertop. I could tell Gia was still unsure.

"Gorgeous, I'm okay, I swear. I'm just tired. C'mere,"

Her brown eyes glimmered as she made her way to me. I wrapped her within my arms, breathing in the delightful scent of her curly hair. It smelled of coconut and cocoa butter. I felt the warmth of her body pressed into my chest and it made me fucking weak in the knees.

I fell for Gia the very first day I saw her, knowing that I couldn't have her. Yet, I was selfish. I was stubborn and selfish.

I had mentally claimed her as mine way before I should've and now I was paying the consequences. Now, having her here, in my arms, was dangerous not just to me but to her as well. That's what made it so scary.

I knew this. I knew this since the first day I saw her brown eyes. It was the very reason I hadn't dated anyone for the past 6 years. It was difficult to know that I was jeopardizing her life- her happiness- because of decisions I had made in the past.

And even then I would still keep her by my side because I'm so fucking selfish.

She gently pulled away, her plump lips smiling and her cheeks tinted. She stood on her tiptoes and laid a quick, chaste kiss on my lips. 

She was undeniably beautiful and most of the time she didn't realize it. It infuriated me that she didn't.

Even through these thoughts I still managed to whip up a cocky remark, "But if you're still unsure you can help me feel better?"

Immedietly she knew what I meant. Gia's face dropped disapprovingly, making me chuckle. "Im kidding," a pause, "unless..."

"Just shut up, Tyler." She said before slumping into the couch. I sat directly beside her as if there wasn't anymore room. There was a lot of room.

I had accepted my attachment to Gia willingly. I couldn't help but be attracted to her like magnet on metal.

It wasn't until I pulled her into my arms that I realized something was wrong.