Visions Of Us

20 | Gooey Happiness

Aurora

After Julia left, and it was nighttime, mom helped me pack my suitcase for New York tomorrow. My mom, cross-legged in pyjamas, rejecting the clothes I wanted to bring with a simple shake of her head or accepting them with a strong nod or an enthusiastic thumbs up. With the suitcase almost filled to the brim, my hands come around to zip it shut, but my mother stops me.

"Wait a second, honey. I need to get something from my closet" That's all she said before leaving the room.

I took this time to think about Julia and I. We haven't done anything more than make out. We haven't had sex which is wild to think about considering the things I've heard her do with other girls. Marla says she's seen her sneak off with older girls into bedrooms at Blake's parties throughout high school. Maybe she wants to take it slow with me or she thinks I'm not worth doing it with? This is all confusing to me. It's not like I talked to mom about girls and the topic of sex. I know next to nothing about what to do in bed. It terrifies me because what if she tries something in New York with me and I just freeze like an idiot?

My mom walks into my bedroom with a slip dress dangling over her arm before she sits with me on my bed. The slip dress seems to be the color of lead black and made of shiny silk. Her features soften and a sincere smile spreads on her face. My eyes widen and I almost instantly know what my mom is about to tell me.

"Mom. I am not wearing that thing" I whined, already feeling heat pool in my cheeks from embarrassment.

"Hear me out. When I was your age, your dad and I-"

Oh my god. I tuned her out by closing my ears with the pads of my fingers. The last thing I want to hear right now is an old sex story from my mother. She sighed and delicately took my fingers off my ears and put my hands in her motherly touch.

"All I'm trying to say is," she took a deep breath in and then spoke, "You're young, kid. Live that to the max. I don't want you to be distracted and worried and not living in the moment in one of the best years of your life. Also, I want you to knock her feet off the ground so bad when she sees you in it that she'll never think about another girl"

"So what I think you're trying to tell me is that I should wear this tomorrow to seduce her?" I asked, surprisingly, without flinching.

However, my mom did. "When you put it like that then yes that's what I'm trying to tell you. Unless you guys have already done it?"

I inhaled deeply. Oh, the sex talk. I didn't really have one with my parents. I kind of just learnt throught out the year from friends, and from media. "No we haven't"

"Do you think Julia is the person you want to have it with?"

I wasn't sure because I wasn't sure if I even wanted to have it right now. I don't think I'm ready. However, if I'm going to have it, it has to be with Julia. She'd be gentle and nice. I want that for my first time. "Yeah"

My mother let go of my hands and brought my forehead towards her, kissing it with so much care. I felt good knowing I had my mom behind my back every step of the way in my life. Sure, my dad isn't here anymore, and it stings to know he won't see me graduate in the summer, go off to college, get married. It's sad because I always imagined in my mind that he'd be there somewhere in those big life events. Holding his film camera up at us to capture moments, failing at being hip, trying out slang with us, hugging us so tightly when we needed him. I thought he would never let go. Despite all this, I'm grateful for my mom because I still have her, and while she's here on this Earth. I want to keep her.

"I love you mom" I stated, as my mother was about to leav my mother. This was also the first time I was going to be leaving family. I don't want to know how many tears will run down on my face when I leave for college.

Her eyes creased and a slow smile spread across her face. "I love you more honey".

When she left the bedroom, closing the door behind her. I looked at the slip dress. Actually, looked at it. It was really pretty but sexy at the same time. I love it and Julia will definitely love it too. So, I neatly folded the dress, placed it in my suitcase and zipped it. I went to sleep that night with skyscrapers looming over me.

◇

The next morning, I rushed breakfast at home, deciding to cook myself some scrambled eggs with a piece of bacon on the side, along with a cup of almond milk to wash it down. I was excited and nervous. I hoped New York looked as beautiful in person as it did in the movies. The doorbell rang and I knew exactly who it was so I wiped my mouth with a tissue, smoothed my hair with my hands and made sure there was nothing in my teeth. Julia stood in a rolled up flannel shirt that exposed her wrists, a tight white shirt underneath, a loose-fitted black belt looped around her darkwash bootcut jeans and a perfect pair of tinted sunglasses lay atop her nose.

"Good morning, babe." she greeted me with a brief kiss on my lips as I let her in the house. "So are you ready or not?"

She looked at me with horror in my eyes when she realised I was still in my pyjamas. A furious blush painted my cheeks.

"You're not ready?! Are you crazy? Those Swan Lake tickets are for 5 p.m. and it's already 10 a.m. . Plus, we have like a million things to do before the show" her eyebrows furrowed but all I could think about was the fact that her face looked so cute when she was frustrated.

I chuckled, as my insides warmed with gooey happiness. The kind that creates rainbows and unicorns."Your'e cute when you're stressed"

She chuckled back, and I could feel her stress melting away. "Seriously though get dressed"

"Okay fine", I drawled out before whispering something in her ear "By the way you look really sexy in that jacket"

That's all I said before going upstairs to my bedroom, leaving a shocked expression on my girlfriend's face.

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chapter 20 is more of a filler BUT it is important for further context in upcoming chapters!