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Touch - Detailed Feedback

Intro:

This feedback is for the book Touch by int_playboy. This chapter will be dedicated to the author. Touch is a science fiction BTS fanfic with interesting ideas and a unique take on a Y/n character, making for an engaging read.

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Detailed Review

What Worked:

For starters, the concept is brilliant and fits your writing style well. The entire idea behind the plot and characters is engaging and keeps the readers on their toes. Although the story isn't long so far, I can tell you have much planned for the future, and I cannot wait to see what you do with the ideas in your head.

Along with that, there is plenty of examples of great word choice in this story. Word choice goes beyond pretty words and how a sentence sounds. Sure, that's part of it, but in my opinion, excellent word choice is when an author uses very specific words to set up character traits, hint at future events, set up character development, etc. Subtle details and words leave such a large impact. In chapter one, for example, there's the line "He stretches out his hands to her neck, causing her to flinch." The reaction of 007 shows us right from the start what kind of character she's going to be. It gives us a hint about her past while also setting up her personality. It's such a small detail, but it sets the tone for the rest of the story.

I know I just mentioned chapter one, but I'm going to jump ahead into the future chapters and talk generally about them. I am a very experienced BTS fanfic writer as you know. I've been writing them since 2018, and one of the hardest things to do is please readers with how BTS acts. So many readers will get on writers if the BTS members aren't acting 100% like their real self (which imo is a terrible way to read; it's a fictional story, the BTS members are characters and are allowed to act differently from their real-life counterparts). However, I must say the dynamic between the BTS members is very grounded and feels like them. You capture their energy and it translates well into the book.

I'm jumping around a bit, I know, but I write reviews as I read then go back and edit later, so this first sentence is future, editor Raven while the rest is old, reader Raven lol. I enjoy the way Y/n is presented in this. I get bored of protagonists who are "innocent" when they're in their mid to late twenties. I get bored of "innocent" high school and college protagonists too. Trust me, no high school or college kid is that innocent. However, you found a balance between maturity and innocence that meshes well. It isn't innocence for the sake of innocence like those other Y/ns. This Y/n is, quite literally, "not like the other girls."

She has deep trauma that needs healing, but she has a sense of innocence that makes sense considering her past. I find it adorable how entranced she was by the children's cartoons, and how Jimin suggested they should put on kid's shows in the first place (I believe it was Jimin but correct me if I'm wrong). Her childlike wonder makes sense and isn't forced like other Y/ns. Not to mention that even though she has this innocence, she has a sense of maturity to her because she's been through too much. That makes her a unique Y/n and a unique character in general.

This is a small thing, but from the first chapter, there is plenty of intrigue about 007 and her relationship with the world around her. It builds suspense and has the reader scratching their heads.

The dialogue is fun and fits the characters. I already touched on this earlier so I won't go into it again, but the dynamics are great. The dynamics between the boys, yes, but also between the boys and Y/n. They make for a fun read.

Lastly, I'd like to touch on the other characters in the story. Okay, this is mostly an excuse to talk about BTS, but shush. The BTS members here are just as lovable as always, even Yoongi despite his attitude in the beginning. Although I do grow tired of the cliché of making Yoongi the grumpy one in every given situation, I feel it works here considering the situation with 007 and his profession.