Intro:
This feedback is for the book Melting Your Metal Heart by torturelover. This chapter will be dedicated to the author. Melting Your Metal Heart is a dark BTS fanfic revolving around Kim Seokjin and Kim Namjoon.
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Detailed Review
What Worked:
The story idea itself is very creative and interesting. I can tell you have a creative mind based on the way every character has a role in the story that serves the plot. It seems like you have a clear idea about how, in general, you want the story to go.
Based on the intro of the story, I can tell you have a beautiful world in mind. Your story has chess pieces, in a way. You're the author and you're moving each part of the world so you can make it feel real. I like the creativity in the story and the worldbuilding ideas you have.
The pacing is also pretty solid. You mention a few times in your a/ns that the chapters are boring, but I don't agree. Every chapter, something happens to develop the characters or plot or both. In the Small Tae chapter, both character development and plot development occur at a steady pace, which makes the story flow smoothly.
While on the topic of pacing, I think the chapter lengths are good. It's hard to nail chapter lengths since it comes down to how much happens in a chapter, but I think you have the right length. Enough happens to leave us satisfied, but enough is left open that we're eager to read more.
The chapters never feel too long or too short; they feel just right. On top of that, the even pacing makes each chapter feel impactful. Every story is going to have the less notable chapters where less happens than in the big emotional moments, but even in those less notable chapters, I think you do a good job keeping us invested in the narrative.
I'll move on to the core of the story in a second, but I also want to give a bit of strange praise I don't give often. I actually like the chapter names. They're simple and to the point, and they tell you what the chapter is going to be about. Your story is very long, and I know better than anyone that creating chapter names for long stories can be quite a challenge, but I think you do a good job with it and keep each chapter fresh.
Okay, now since I'm done talking about the technical parts of your story, let's move into the more creative parts.
I'm mostly going to focus on plot and character since those are the two things I noticed the most while reading.
I already mentioned how I think the concept is creative, but I like the way it unfolds in the story too. The plot itself is consistent and I didn't notice any plot holes. It moves without feeling like it drags or overstays its welcome.
The same applies to the characters. They each have their own roles in the story, which makes them stand out. Many ff writers, especially BTS ff writers, don't give the BTS members much role in the story, which leads to them blending together. This story does not have that problem. Every character has their own story that makes them unique.
Like I mentioned earlier with the plot, the characters are consistent and I didn't notice any OOC moments or inconsistencies that I feel the need to point out.
The creative side of the story (plot, characters, ideas, etc.) is solid. I think the overall plot, characters, and story idea are strong enough to drive the story and give it emotional weight.
That's another thing I want to briefly touch upon: emotion. You choose many different types of emotions to display. It's never just one emotion, there's always multiple being displayed in well-paced ways. It gives the story more memorability.
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