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Forget Me Series - Detailed Feedback

Introduction:

The Forget Me series is written by ItsKaylaKiara. So far, it includes two books, but the second book only has six chapters as of 11/11/23. It follows the protagonist, Lavinia, as she discovers the secrets of her past. It is an enemies to lovers romance with a lot of action and adventure.

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Detailed Feedback

What Worked:

I really liked the ending of chapter two in book one with the "Why me." It was simple but effective, and a great way to characterize the protagonist without it feeling forced or cheap. It wasn't over-the-top, which is something a lot of Wattpad authors do, so I appreciate you keeping it subtle and to the point.

I also like how Lavinia has a fire to her and doesn't just give in when she's faced with kidnappers. She has an interesting reaction to getting kidnapped, but considering she doesn't have much to live for (as hinted at by the "why me" I mentioned above), it makes sense that she would be riskier and bolder.

This is a smaller thing, but I really like her name. Lavinia is very beautiful and it stands out. All the names in this series are unique without feeling over-the-top or too flowery, so great job with that.

The aesthetic the series has is very nicely put together. The dividers are clear and pretty, making them easy to spot and fun to look at. The cover has a gorgeous image that caught my eye when I first opened the book.

There are major differences between books one and two, and I don't mean that in a narrative way, necessarily. The formatting is much different in book two, but I like that. I think it shows improvement and your eagerness to write. The second book, in my opinion, has stronger formatting and overall execution based on the chapters published at the time of writing this (six chapters are currently out).

Book two has longer chapters, more detail, different formatting, and more. It makes books one and two stand on their own, but they're also not so different that they feel like they're not from the same series, which is great. You managed to improve your writing style without the narrative suffering, which not a lot of writers can do.

I wasn't expecting this series to have so much action and adventure in it, but I think that's a pleasant surprise. While reading the first book in particular, I was amazed by how many action scenes there were, but at the same time, they didn't feel like too much to detract from the narrative. Maybe it's just because I haven't been reading a lot of stories with action in them, but this was a nice element of the story that I enjoyed thoroughly.

While on the topic, I enjoyed the sense of adventure this series has. There is always something new for us to enjoy, but it never felt like too much. The powers were unexpected but also interesting at the same time. It was a nice little twist and I'm glad you revealed it sooner rather than later. Having little twists like that throughout the story rather than only near the end keep readers engaged.

As for the pacing, I think the pacing is solid throughout both books. The plot always feels like it's moving without feeling too fast, which is great since it keeps me engaged without making me feel overwhelmed.

Overall, I can't comment too much on book two since there are only six chapters out as of the time of me doing this review, but from what I've read of book two and everything I read of book one, this series is very engaging, and I'm excited to see where it goes.

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What Didn't Work:

Most of my suggestions are grammatical, which is a good thing since those issues are, in my opinion, the easiest to fix.