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Bully Mate Contract - Detailed Feedback

Intro:

This feedback is for the book Bully Mate Contract by Robyn_Chicken. This chapter will be dedicated to the author. Bully Mate Contract is an intense story in the omegaverse that deals with heavy themes and topics.

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Detailed Feedback

What Worked:

It would be a crime if I started this off with anything other than your word choice. I can go on and on about the incredible word choice you use to describe scenes and places, and I apologize in advance if I ramble. You sprinkle so many details into your sentences that it makes the world feel alive. Your word choice is super strong and never feels repetitive. You're always throwing new words at the audience to keep us invested.

Normally, when an author nails word choice, they also nail sentence structure since they have a solid understanding of how to word their ideas. Your sentences are structured well and never feel repetitive. A major part of engagement in a story is originality. Your sentences never feel dull or cliché in any way.

Other than some small things I'll get into later, the grammar is great. I can tell you have a solid understanding of the English language and how to evoke emotions out of a reader. Many readers overlook just how important how you phrase something is, which is why I'm making three whole paragraphs to praise the word choice/sentence structure. The way you phrase your story is how a reader consumes it, and without realizing it, they're learning things about the characters, plot, and themes thanks to how you wrote it. It's incredible, really.

You have very, very intense, sensitive, and mature themes in the story. However, you handled them well and didn't gloss over the severity of them. I appreciate that you knew what you were dealing with and didn't try to make it a minor thing, but rather you shined light on it and didn't shy away from it. When dealing with heavy subject matter, sometimes it's hard to shine light on it, but I'm glad you did. It makes for a more interesting and realistic story.

While on the topic of storytelling, I can tell you have a keen eye for creativity. You sprinkle lots of love and care into the plot and characters. Every character feels different from the other. They have their traits and characteristics that make them stand out, whether the readers like or dislike them. For example, we have extreme emotions about Gunner because of the way he's characterized, and we have extreme pity for Eric because of the way he's characterized. The way you give your characters distinct personalities makes the story feel more alive and intriguing.

You also have good pacing. The start of the story doesn't beat around the bush; you get straight to the point and tell us the plot, characters, and hints of the themes. The pacing is mostly solid and moves along without dragging. We're always learning new things about characters and uncovering new plot details. There's never a dull moment, and each chapter feels like it's contributing something, whether that be to the characters, plot, themes, or all three.

The story is realistic. People often misunderstand what realism in storytelling is. Realism is not realism to the real world but rather to the world in the story. If the world in the story happens to be the real world, then yes it does translate to realism to real life, but realism also extends to other genres. For example, Harry Potter is realistic. Not because it accurately represents real life (obviously... they're wizards), but because it follows the rules of the world established by the author. Realism also extends to characters, where characters make decisions based on how they are characterized rather than how the plot requires them to. This story does the same thing. It establishes a world and characters and it sticks to those rules. It doesn't bend or break or make characters act OOC (out of character) for the sake of plot. So, good job with that!