Why don't you try and leave me?

Disguise Of Disinterest

Kiyotaka's POV

Hopeless.

That was the word to describe the state of the rebellion units at the moment.

My plan had worked to the T, even though it had demanded nine days of my uninterrupted time. While my heart was itching for her like a cocaine addict for crack, my mind knew it is better to tie up all loose ends on this side of the table before detangling the tight knots that bound us together.

Time should do her good. She must have chosen now.

I entered my chambers with a tinge of rare excitement, coursing through my veins. A slight hum was dancing on the tip of my tongue. Colours seemed sharper, smoother and ever enlarged in my familiar black-and-white world. A sensation, edging to limitless ecstasy caught hold of me momentarily, but soon contained by my voluntary suppression.

Any and all external expressions of preferences must be erased. My face must be a blank slate, impossible to read, imperceptible even under the weight of a million gazes directed towards me. This was a teaching I had internalised before I could even see, hear, or speak. Since I ever was.

But peering at her, to observe her lifeless eyes which reeked of a rotten death stirred something unspeakable in me. Her face betrayed nothing of the destruction that must have erupted inside of her.

I could still recall her pleading eyes, begging me not to hurt her, that her heart had endured far too many heartbreaks and the next one would shatter her.

Now all I saw was emptiness. Emptiness that I had never sighted but felt all too well, swirling inside of her like an eternal season of whirlwinds. A barren wasteland remained in the place of the diminishing forestlands I had last spotted.

She had given up.

On herself.

On me.

On everything.

She would rather ruin herself than surrender herself to me.

The feisty nature of her decision brought forth the darkness I had been taming since childhood. The beast in me lashing out to bring this fragile shell of indifference she was clinging. Oh, what a poor attire it was for her. Desperation colored her smooth skin better than indifference ever could.

"Welcome back, Kiyotaka"

She smiled her beautiful smile, staring at me with those dead eyes, as if things are right back where they are meant to be. 

She was a rotten corpse, programmed to act out a human being.

And I would snatch her right back from the arms of death and force her to live out the life she had always been destined to. 

By my side.

*******

Author's Notes:

Thought I had to publish this to write more. 

Hoping to write a crazy ass conversation next chapter so I don't know when it is going to be up.

Thanks for being patient and supporting me. Cheers :)