Smoker (Mattheo Riddle fic)

12: Open it

(22nd of October) Half term has been and gone like a fucking bullet. Turns out a small break feels almost insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Pansy's parents dropped us at the train station on Sunday afternoon, ready to catch the train with the remaining students who hadn't already returned. I haven't seen Mattheo since last Friday. It's not a huge deal, I know its only been a week, but my mind kept wandering back to the bench.

"What's your issue?" Pansy asks me once we pass through the wall onto the platform.

"My issue?"

"You are all.. quiet."

"Am I not allowed to be quiet?"

"Don't be an asshole Ev."

I laugh at her and keep walking. "I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"Pansy you could give Enzo a run for his money with all this talking."

She pauses. "Okay whatever I'll stop."

We spot them all on the far end of the platform, just as they notice us. I can hear the train approaching the station. Both groups begin walking towards each other. I instantly make eye contact with Mattheo. The usual smirk forms on his face, just as I can feel one threatening to show on mine. We don't break eye contact until we stop walking and meet in the middle.

"Ladies." Theo bows in front of us.

"Stand up you idiot." Pansy mutters. He immediately snaps his head up to look at her and laughs, making her laugh too.

"Which one of us did you miss more? Draco inquires as the train pulls into the station. They all flicker their eyes between me and Pansy, searching for an answer.

"I'm not sure, what about you Pans?" I say, turning to face her.

"Hmm, I couldn't possibly say."

"I think.. I'm going to have to go with Slughorn." I finally decide, both of us turning back towards them.

"I cant blame you." Enzo says, pushing to the front to get onto the train. "He is one lovely man." He flashes me a grin and steps one foot onto the express.

_____

We walk single file towards our usual compartment, to see it filled with a few first years. Draco mutters something and opens the door. He's about to tell them where to go, before Enzo grabs his arm and pulls him forward. "Don't be such a child Draco." The first years look shit-scared anyway. We all giggle at him as he huffs and puffs away.

We end up at a compartment a few down. Everyone files in: Draco sits on the left, followed by Enzo. Pansy sits on the right and tries to open the window, but it wont budge. Mattheo sits next to her, and I sit next to him, opposite Theo. I always get on last. I feel a need to be sat by the door, just incase. Nothing normally happens, but I need to feel close to an escape route rather than trapped at the back corner. Luckily, I'm now sat directly next to Mattheo. We are sat extremely close, I think he purposefully left extra room beside Pansy; either to satisfy Theo, or to be closer to me. I hope it's the latter.

After half an hour, I'm beginning to feel incredibly overwhelmed. The window doesn't open and it's unbelievably hot in here. I keep pulling at the neck of my jumper, my sleeves are already rolled and I'm not sure what else I can do. Mattheo obviously notices something, because he has given me more space, and keep looking me more often. I try not to make eye contact, I don't want to let him know I'm struggling. I don't know why I sat there for so long, I literally sat by the door for a reason.

I reach into my bag, pulling out my packet of cigarettes and reach for the handle. It wont move. I've drawn attention to myself now, and everyone falls silent while I keep pushing.

"We had to choose the worst fucking carriage didn't we?" I say, laughing to hide the slight panic in my voice.

Somebody asked if I wanted help but I didn't turn around. I just keep shaking it more violently as the second pass. I'm sure it was only second but it felt like hours. Eventually I slammed it down so hard to door swung open, nearly flying off its hinges.

"Finally, fucking hell." I exclaim, standing up and leaving without turning around. I hear murmurs and shuffles behind me, and I think someone stands up. I head immediately to the end of the carriage, to the big windows that wind the whole way down. It's stupid to get panicked like that, I just get inside my own head I suppose, small spaces make my skin crawl.

I reach the window and roll it down, then pull out my cigarette and light it, blowing smoke into the wind. Mattheo appears beside me. He just leans out the window next to me and watches the scenery go by. Eventually he speaks.

"Struggle to use handles do you?

"I prefer knobs. Probably why I like you so much huh?"

He laughs, holding his hand out, and I place the cigarette between his fingers. "Glad to know you are so obsessed with me." He shifts extremely close to me, then exhales the smoke out the window. We make eye contact and both start laughing.

"What?" he continues chuckling. I needed to get close to lean out, wouldn't want to smoke out the whole carriage would we?" We both know there is easily enough room for three people to fit comfortably side by side.

"I totally agree." I reply, taking the cigarette and moving even closer to him. You could probably fit another person of both sides of us, yet that doesn't stop us from standing so our faces are centimeters away from each other. He takes the last drag and throws it out the window.

The door at the end of the carriage flies open, and the lady with the sweet trolley smiles at us, then waves ahead, indicating we should go sit down. We turn and walk back.

"I'll open the door this time." He says.