Black And Blue

Chapter 1

The rain trickled onto my heavy coat but I ignored it. I could feel it soak through my clothes but that was the least of my worries. I had much more consuming thoughts plaguing my mind. It had turned out to be another, expectedly, terrible day.

I walked further away from the school and allowed my feet to take me where they wished. It had become routine. Someone at school would say something stupid about me and I'd over react and storm out dramatically. What can I say, I was made for the theatrics. They never did me any good though. I often found myself regretting every single choice I'd made but then again, that was my nature. I could never stand solid for too long on my opinions. I only had a specific few I could hold onto for longer. I was a tad fickle.

I turned into the main road and crossed over it, skipping over the rock I saw on every one of my unplanned trips to the library. I walked across the soft grass and jogged to the building looming over me.

It was as good as home to me. I definitely spent a lot of my time there, alone, sitting in a corner and getting lost in a random book. It had become my second home like that.

The library was a bit of a secret though. I didn't want my parents to know I was skipping. They'd worry their heads off and I didn't want any of that. The drama was only acceptable when it was me who was involved. Innocent parties didn't deserve the headaches that came with it.

I shrugged off my coat at the door and threw the librarian, Madam Dubois, a small smile. She smiled back, her already wrinkled face creasing. I carried my coat in one hand and walked of into my usual spot. It was where my mind was allowed to pick a character and become them, the sci-fi and fantasy section. I tossed my coat on the floor and pulled out one of my favourites. Cinderella.

I examined the tattered cover and smiled to myself. That was years worth of me coming by and pulling this book out as often as my mind allowed me to. I flipped the first page open and marveled at the beauty of the words even before reading them. It just proved that words either, read, written or said were art and it took some big brains to understand that. It was rare to find someone who thought the same.

I sat down on the hard wood floor, leaning on one of the shelves and got into the book. Each word seemed newer than the last time I read it. That's what I loved about books, I could just close the page if I wanted out and if wanted to come back to that world I would simply pick up that same book and read it all over again.

In some ways Cinderella was just like me. Cast out and unwanted. The only difference was that she got the happily ever and I only got to taste a mere piece of it before it was pulled out of my grasp. That was the unfairness of life. You could never compare yourself to anyone and find a fair comparison. There would always be one better and one worse. I often happened to the worse.

I hadn't noticed how quickly time had flown by because by the time I flipped my last page and shut the book, the sun had set and the stars were out shinning their brightest. The moon accompanied them like a mother watching closely over her children. It was one of the many arts of the world.

I hurriedly grabbed my things and rushed out of the library. Madam Dubois was evidently getting ready to leave too when I zoomed past her at the door. I sprinted across town and jumped and ducked bushes and rocks. I knew the road too well to stumble or fall in my haste. It was engraved deep in my mind.

The lights lit up the night, illuminating every piece of land there was as far as the eyes could see. I loved how beautiful London could be at night.

I made a turn into our street and ran across the pavement until I reached our home. It wasn't frivolous at all but it was just right. Not too big but not too small. My parents had put their all into making sure I was comfortable.

I pulled the door open and stepped into he warmth of our house. The lights were still on, surprising, at this time. Jane was in the kitchen her head in her hands as her foot tapped away.

The door groaned closed and she shot up from her seat. She seemed furious. Yeah, I'd done it this time. She crossed her arms over her chest. "And where may I ask were you?", She asked raising a dark eyebrow.

"I, um, I had a project to finish up at a friend's place."

She scoffed. "It was so urgent you couldn't call and tell us about it? Tanaka, I was worried sick about you. I thought something had happened. I called so many times." She explained flaying her hands all over for effect.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It slipped mind, it won't happen again. Promise.", I assured her. Regret plagued my mind.

She pulled me into a hug and sighed. We pulled away and she smiled. "Good. Don't do that again. Now, how was your day, mwanangu?" (My child)

She always did this. She put so much effort into understanding me and listening to the things I did. She was too good for this world. I put on a fake smile and responded. "It was good. The project was exhausting but overal good." I lied through my teeth. Nothing good had happened and the project was non existent. It wasn't like I hadn't done it before, multiple times for that matter. It was who I was. A part of me, albeit, one I wasn't proud to have.

I had a late dinner with my mum. She explained her day to me and let me in on the fact that dad had left for work earlier that night. He always seemed to have work to do.

I washed the dishes with my mother before retiring to my room. I took a long, warm bath. I needed to relax before sleeping and this was one of the things that helped. I scrubbed and wiped every part of my body. It didn't make me feel like less of a lier.

After my bath I bundled up in my pyjamas and splayed myself on my bed. I undid my hair tie and brushed my hair before finally climbing into bed. I didn't sleep then because as soon as my head hit my BTS themed pillow, my phone buzzed on my bedside table.

I picked it up and read the caller ID. It was Han. He was undoubtedly my best and only friend. He was all optimism and talk about the bright side. He was a bit awkward when we first met though.

I slid my finger across the screen. "Hey."

"You skipped again.", He stated. He didn't have to ask. He was sure of it.

"I just needed to breathe.", I explained.

"Tan, you promised me you'd ignore them. You said you'd go through a full day of school.", He said obviously concerned. I hated making him feel that way.

"Look, I tried but I'm not strong enough for any of that and I probably never will be. It takes time to pull things like that off."

He sighed through the phone and I could tell he was running a shaky hand through his hair. He did that when he was frustrated. "Fine.", He gave in. "I just want to make sure you're okay. You're my best friend."

"You're my only friend.", I stated chuckling some. "I really, literally can not afford to lose you."

"Then show up tomorrow and you just might have a chance.", He went along with my jest. He was always so good to me, always looking out for me. I didn't deserve him.

"I bet it's the sleep talking.", I laughed. "Go to sleep, Han."

I cut the call and placed my phone back on my bedside table. Even in this nightmare I could have a few laughs and smiles. Those usually came in the form of Amihan Flores. A friend I would've tried my hardest to keep by my side. But that was before. Later on in my life I'd find all the good things in my life slipping and I would be too distracted to notice. What's one measly good thing when I could've had the world.

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It took me a while to find a way to ease into this story. I wanted to give a window into Tanaka's mind and life. Hopefully it worked?👀

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