Our complicated love story

Ch.2.4 Calling it quits

Calling it quits
Ch.2.4

Theo's pov

What the hell just happened? I just...threw up...

"Are you okay?" Oh, I threw on him...

"Yeah sorry, I don't know what came over me..."

I don't know why but I suddenly feel the strong urge to cry. Yet again...I don't even have time to think that I end up crying for real.

"Hey stop crying...if it's about earlier then I'm sorry...We can try to act more like a couple..." He tries to comfort me but it fails to make me feel better.

Is he being serious? I wish he really wasn't lying right now but he's only doing that to make me feel better...

"No, no don't apologize...don't..." I hide my face from him for a second.

"No, we can't do that...you told me earlier that you don't want to do more than have sex. Don't say the opposite of what you want 'cause I'm crying..." I say melancholic.

He looks at me with pity and guilt in his eyes. I never thought in a million years that he would look at me like that someday. It feels strange...

"OK, if you say so but seriously are you okay? This is a serious matter. If I knew you felt ill, I wouldn't have told you all of this today." I stop tearing up.

"No, no you did good by finally being honest with me. It's just I don't know...I have felt weird ever since I woke up. I felt extremely nauseous this morning and threw up a few times..."

"Seriously? Ugh, now I feel bad for not noticing it earlier."

"Yeah, sorry if I didn't tell you. I thought it was none of your business 'cause you don't even care about us obviously." I can tell that it kind of pains him to see me like this.

Through, I need to get rid of my clothes filled with puke, I can't bear to smell that any longer and as tempting Nathan is despite the fact he has my barf all over him, I need a shower.

"Uh, um, can I take a shower?" I say awkwardly.

"Yeah, you can. Oh and before you think about it, I won't hop in with you even though I have all of your puke on me." He tries to smile but fails.

"I'm, ok."

Thank goodness he didn't ask me if he could join me. Well, it's not like he asks anyway, he just hops in whenever he wants to.

After hearing what he said, I truly need some space and time away from him. I genuinely need some time to think about what I want. Sure I hate that there is nothing more than sexual attraction between us but now I know why. Though, I must admit that I don't know if I'm ready to get into a relationship with him...

I can't really know. Maybe he is right when he says it takes a lot more than just liking each other for a relationship. Unlike me, he already was in a relationship in the past. So, I don't even know what to expect from a relationship even less from him.

Through. I can't even believe I did all of this with my enemy, Nathan Hames of all people?! I have no clue how we got to be so intimate...I badly need to think this through.

What kind of feelings do I have for him? Is it even what we call love? Do I even love him?
I thought this thing was only a fluke because he's so hot. Argh, just thinking about it makes my dick twitch.

Gosh...I can't believe I acted so unresponsively. It's not even like me. I just acted upon my feelings not even knowing what it was that I wanted. I became someone I wasn't, so maybe this is for the best.