Kind-koji

Chapter 10: Rebuilding

Ayanokoji POV

"OK I AM FUCKING DONE, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY!?" Sudo had yelled after being forced to his breaking point by Horikita

"I'll say it again! You cannot do basic maths! it's honestly surprising how you are even alive with how small your brain must be to not be able to integrate!" Horikita yelled as Sudo clenched his fists and placed his head onto the table

I looked over at Yamauchi and Ike and saw that they hadn't made much effort either, I sigh inwardly as I get up and move towards Sudo to see what he was doing

"Sudo, what exactly aren't you understanding?" I asked him as he in his frustrated state of mind says

"Everything! I don't get how to study Damnit!" he yelled as I shook my head

"Just be patient, have you ever found the area of a rectangle?" I asked him as he nodded

"Yea... I can do that much atleast" Sudo said as I nodded

"So imagine if we took a graph and drew a flat line from the Y-axis along the X-axis. The total measure would be the area under the line right? As we are measuring one thing in respect to another as we are in a velocity-time graph" I explained as he slowly nodded, absorbing the information

"So what if he drew a line that had many twists and turns along the same axis as the first one, we can't exactly find it's area like it is a rectangle as the shape isn't constant" I said as he nodded

"So what if we drew a rectangle for each height? that way we can measure the most accurate area for each portion" I said as he said back in surprise

"Hoh! but it would be a pain to find each and every rectangle's area!" he said as I nodded

"That is why we have integration, we use a formula to basically find the sum of all these rectangles to get the value, you now know the concept used, now focus on learning the formula and applying sense to it, ok?" I explained as he nodded Thanking me for my help

I made my way to Yamauchi and Ike to help them with their problems as the study session passed by with me tutoring the three as Horikita looked in shock

It seemed Horikita's self confidence was dropping and for good reason, It will only benefit her if she finally realized her own shortcoming and fixed it. I don't mind giving the push and guiding her through it but she needs to first have the doubt in her own capability to understand her flaws.

The study session ended with those three being satisfied and having made some progress at the very least, the exams were coming in about 2 weeks, by that time we should be done with the studying part

I packed my bag to get up as I see Horikita, looking frustrated at her own uselessness

"Horikita, are you okay?" I asked, knowing the answer already

"I am fine. I will be going now, see you tomorrow, Ayanokoji" she said as I nodded, it seems she needs space to rethink everything

she and I made our way back to our respective dorms, I am thinking about a lot of things as well

Am I really changing? Is it possible for me to change? or am I still the exact same, am I still in that place?

People out here have so many distinct pasts, history and opinion influenced by how they grew up. What does that make of me?

People tend to believe in what they have grown up learning but that can't apply to me now can it? I don't think it is objectively right to keep living a life like I had back at the whiteroom

I debated with myself over this for hours, not understanding the answer to my predicament. Is it possible for me to change? to be happy?

These thoughts have made me both tired as well as agitated, I should take a walk outside