LIFE OF A MUSLIM BLACK MELANIN

He was never mine

And i know I pushed you so hard and so far, but I wish you kept struggling for me or for us----Aisha Muazu

A/N
Assalama'alaikum, it's been long, and you can murder me, but I really want to write today, so here's a chapter that I hope you'll all vote for.

Also, when I updated chapters 38 and 39, there was an error, Asif and Rahma already resumed school before the party.

So now we are starting from where rahma walked out of the gathering after Asif confessed his feelings.

Chapter 40

(Rahma's pov)

"You okay?" Ibrahim asked as he approached me

I didn't want to go back home so I went to the park near our house

I couldn't stop the tears, and neither did I bother to, I don't know. I just feel so broken and tired, and I don't want to do this anymore.

"No," I said softly as he sat beside me on the bench.

"Thought so." He replied

"I didn't intend to hurt him." I said, looking at Ibrahim

"I know, rahma, I know," he said as he pulled me in for a hug, and I cried, more than i ever could

"I broke my promise to him, Ibrahim." I whispered quietly, but Ibrahim didn't reply, and I took that as a sign to keep talking

"I said I would never leave unless he did, but I did, and it doesn't even matter cause if I were to stay I'll still be the first to leave, I'm nothing Ibrahim, I have nothing to offer Asif." I said as more tears kept streaming down my face

"The future he has always dreamt of, the future he wanted us to have isn't even possible now because I won't be in it." I said in a bearly audible tone.

"You are hurting him, Rahma, and he doesn't even know what he did to mess everything up between you two, rahma." Ibrahim said as he gently pulled away from me and cupped my cheek in his hands.

"My advice for you, rahma, is to tell him. Let him know." Ibrahim said quietly, but I couldn't say a word in reply

How can I?, how do I?, it's not as easy as it sounds, he is already hurting because of me and I don't know if I can.

Ibrahim and I sat there as he held me close while i just looked toward the sky, at nothing particular because my thoughts were occupied by Asif

******
Well it's Monday again and I don't want to go to school but considering the fact that I now have a family and a mother who clearly won't let me take a day off I woke up early and got ready

Since the night Ibrahim and I came back home, no one talked about what happened at the gathering, but I also know that it doesn't mean no one will talk about it, eventually.

I went downstairs and had a normal morning where we all ate breakfast, and Musa took us to school in his car.

Standing in front of the school entrance, I took in a deep breath before I pushed the doors open and entered the hall.

I know I'm use to people staring at me but today it was different, it was like every single being had their eyes on me but nonetheless I kept a passive look on my face as I went over to my locker.

I got the books I needed for my next class and closed my locker but ended up being a startled when I found Aleena leaning on the locker next to mine.

"I'm sorry, did I startle you?" She asked in a sarcastic tone.

I really don't need this right now, so I ignored her and walked past her, but I couldn't go far when she said

"Do you have any idea how broken he has been lately." And if I didn't remind myself of the fact that I have cancer and
Leukaemia, I might have turned back

I would have turned back to look at her, I would have turned and made everything right between me and him, but I won't because I couldn't.

"Stop doing this, rahma. I can't stand to see my brother in so much pain." She said in a quivering voice and I didn't stay any longer to hear what she wanted to say because if I had I would have broken down there and they would have seen how bad this is affecting me too.

*******

Days passed with me, and Aisf did not talk to each other.

My mom talked to me about the secret marriage between me and asif that was held in Maldives, and they were all disappointed that I took such a heavy decision without involving them.

They all asked if I wanted to still be in the marriage

And of course I did, I still love him

But I couldn't voice that out, and instead, I told them no

I recall vividly on how I boldly told everyone that the marriage was a burden to me, and I wanted to get divorced.

My family decided to stick by my side, and I requested a divorce from asif, which, of course, he refused, and after going back and forth about the situation, as if I had no other option than to divorce me

And just like that, I was no longer his wife.

He wasn't mine, and I guess we were never meant to be.

A/N
Keep moving
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