The Will

CHAPTER 1: MY FAMILY

The rattling sound of the ceiling fan echoed throughout the household, depicting the fact that I was once again left alone at home. I sighed heavily and realized that there's no use in wasting time sobbing or feeling heartbroken as this had become a habitual practice and yes my heart should have healed by now but I couldn't help but feel a void in my life, didn't
fate at least give me the right to love from my own family. It was probably because I was the only daughter, I have two older brothers before me Rohaan and Daanish who are the apparent name and pride of our family and here I am, someone who has always been treated as if they were a burden, but I always found solace in the fact that Allah wouldn't have brought me into this world in the first place if that was my purpose which means that I was definitely here for something but I didn't know what it quite was. I was always a cheerful girl no matter what I had gone through, I never let people see that dark and depressed side of me, I always listened to my parents even though they treated me like garbage. I tried to please everyone in my family just hoping that just one day I could be treated as equal, being in an Indian household it's been really hard dealing with the restrictions towards a woman like myself, it's just not fair, why are us women locked up and forbidden from doing whatever we wish whilst men can freely go around doing whatever they desire without being asked anything. I was lost in my thoughts when I heard a car honk signaling my family's return. Soon after everyone entered,I heard my mother shout.

"Sadaf come over here clean up the mess in the car, Rohaan got carsick and vomited everywhere"
I internally gagged and went over to tidy up without arguing as I knew I would get the usual 'women are supposed to cook, clean and take care of the house' lecture. I was cleaning the car when eventually I felt hot tears streaming down my cheeks. Why is my life like this?, why can't I just be free from this family and from this city? I've always contemplated running away from home but my heart said I shouldn't, even if I did where would I go?,yes I would be free but my world would also collapse. I was cleaning the last spot when somebody came over to me and wiped off my tears.

"What are you doing mera bacha (my child),why are you crying?" My grandfather said.
I responded by hugging him tight and crying my heart out. "I hate my life Dadaji(grandfather), I want to flee off to somewhere where I can be free, where I can be in control of my own life."

"No don't do that if you go away from me who will look after me and give me my medication from time to time huh?, the others may not need you or acknowledge you but I do bacha stay here for me, tolerate this for me"

I revealed a warm smile with tears in my eyes, this time filled with happiness. Dadaji always made me feel better whenever I felt down and I loved him for that. He always took me over to a certain park bordering our house to freshen our mood and inside the heart of the park was a beautiful forest with towering trees, blue willows, a beautiful teal green pond and a wooden bench decorated with flowers and vines where we would sit and enjoy the tranquility and talk about our lives, cracking jokes, it was always so wholesome. So we headed towards the park and rejoiced in those moments once again.

Dadaji then said "Beta (dear), if you want to run away I can help you. I can't bear to see you crying and bearing the burden that our family always puts on your shoulders."

I contemplated once again and answered "What about you Dadaji, I can't leave you I need you too, can't you come with me?"

Dadaji looked at me with a bright smile and said "Beta don't worry about me just go and live your life, go I'll keep sending you money for as long as I'm alive but I want you to go and make your own name and reputation so that everybody knows you are my amazing grand daughter."
I hesitated at first but I knew that this was the right thing to do.

"Ok then Dadaji I guess this is goodbye then", I felt a lump in my throat and tears stinging my eyes but I decided to get a grip on myself because I didn't want Dadaji to see me in this vulnerable state. He pulled me in his warm embrace probably for the last time however I promised him I would call everyday to check with him.

I pulled away from the hug and looked at my grandfather with a downcast smile to which he gestured me to smile wholeheartedly and I obliged. My heart was heavy but I knew this was the right thing for me to do, at last how long was I supposed to keep getting dragged down by others. It was about time that I did something with my life instead of pitying myself and so here I was embarking on a new chapter in my life.

"Khudahafiz Dadaji, remember me in your duas (prayers)."
"Khudahafiz mera bacha go and live your life!"

Authors note: if you enjoyed reading this please make sure to vote and comment your opinions or what you think will happen next after Sadaf runs away, will she get away with it or not?🤔