He Makes The Stars Shine Brighter [Sting x Reader] || First Book

19 : I Like It Better When We're Wasted

» edited: 04.07.2017

[a/n]: this is going to be 100001%% crackfic if you thought i was actually trying then you thought wrong

you can't not be serious when writing about your favorite characters getting wasted and doing dumb shit.

x x

"Oh! Whatcha doin' here?" Gray stumbles towards you, weighed down by Juvia, who's holding onto his arm like it was her lifeline. Probably was.

"Nothing to do back home."

"AYYYYYYY WANNA DRINK SUM BOOZE WITH ME?!?!" Cana lumbers over with a barrel of booze caged in between her arms. Poor barrel, it was in for a lot of shit.

"AYYYYYYY WHY NOT?!?!?" And that was the beginning of one of the dumbest ideas you've ever had in a while.

» time skip

Spoiler alert : you lost. Boohoo. 

There were two barrel's worth of booze sloshing around in the pits of your stomach, and an entire day's worth of grueling pain lying in wait for you in the form of what could only be called "The Worst Hangover Ever, Fuck My Life".

"HHAHGAHGAHAHHAGAHGAHHAHAH," Cana guffawed, a glass raised to the air, "YOU LOOK SO FUCKIN' DEAD OH MY JESUS LORD GHAGHAHAHAHAHAH GIVE ME ANOTHER ONE." Some dude gave Cana another barrel.

From somewhere behind you two old, sober men were whispering to each other. Another spoiler alert : It was Macao and Wakaba.

"When are they gonna stop? Doesn't (Y/N) know she's going to lose?" Macao whispered.

"Don't even bother, man."

When you were beginning to see the gates of heaven with some holy light and a couple of doves, you quickly ran off and lurched up the stuff inside your tummy, sour booze and all. There were like aliens near you and they were like so damn high like holy shit man.

"Yooooooo"

"Oh my God are you here to send me to hell where I belong"

"Oh my wow no not yet my dear hell roommate to be"

"What hell has rooms"

"Yes there's a big sign in the gates of hell it's labeled 'University'"

"Holy shit bro"

"I know right here have some of my armpit powder my beautiful hell roommate to be but be careful it explodes around dicks"

"I see but I don't have a dick I'm safe"

Spoiler alert : the next time any Fairy Tail member saw you, you were calf-deep into the toilet, eating toilet paper.

Booze was banned for the next two weeks.

» time skip

"Sting"

"Wat"

"Your girlfriend is like balls deep she's so fucking drunk man"

"Wtf"

» time skip

"(Y/N)"

"Wat" Sting wonders why in the fucking hell fuck you smell like toilet.

"Wtf were you doing" You passed out and Cana who was still "JHGAHGAHGAHHAGAHAGHAH"ing on a table was answer enough.

"YOOo o oO O" Sting sits next to Cana, barely avoiding the kick she threw. On accident, hopefully.

"AYYYYYYYYYYYY"

"WUD U LIK TO DRINC WID ME"

"FUCUCK YAH"

Spoiler alert : Sting lost too, and he was as balls deep he's so fucking drunk man as you were. He passed out, too.

» time skip

Boi, when you woke up you felt like shit. Like literal shit. Like the shit that comes outta your ass shit. Then Natsu showed up outta nowhere like dafuq???? Boi is u tryna be Houdini spoiler alert he fuckin died GHAGHAGHAHHA.

"NATSU WHAT THE DAMN HECKY HECK FUCK?!?!??!"

"YOURE STILL DRUNK"

"WOW I TOTALLY DIDN"T KNOW THAT :OOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! ! TANK U FOR DIS KNOWLEDGE HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!"

And then like Lucy slapped you on the face like the fuck??????? Bitch, the fuck did I do to your ass continue twirling yo fuckin pigtails in the god damn corner or smth until Natsu notices something that ain't your tits gurl i could give you a lesson on proper dressing ways-

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR???????"

"You're still drunk"

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! !" your mind = blown "WOW THANK YOU ALL FOR THIS PROFOUND KNOWLEDGE I NOW KNOW I"M DRUNK- OF COURSE I KNOW I"M FUCKING DRUNK MY HEAD WANTS TO KILL ITSELF I WANT TO KILL MYSELF FUCK ME"

"Sting would gladly fuck you"

"Go fuck yourself, Natsu"

And then a marker magically appeared next to you and holy fuck is it "Try To Be Houdini Day" or some shit because you totally forgot the memo or something

But anyway you grab the marker and you draw penises on Sting's face because dicks are attracted to other dicks amirite

"BAHGAHGAHGHAGHAHGAHJAHJAJAJ" you're ROFL 

"WHAT'S SO FUNNY PLS DONT TELL ME IT"S THOSE ALIENS AGAIN" and then Natsu and Gray see Sting's face and they're ROFL too

Spoiler alert : Sting ends up in a pink tutu and some lovely blush and smeared lipstick and mascara and a whole lot more reasons to break up with you.

"what the fuck do we do when sting wakes up"

Sting wakes up. Satan must be in a good mood today.

"s h IT"