Not Just A Love Story

Chapter 49

Lauren's POV

We never know we take things for granted until the realization of losing it.

Thinking. A lot of thinking. That is how I passed the past week since I met Olivia in that parking lot. It's been an obnoxious time of overwhelming feelings and the drowning sadness.

The guilt of hiding a huge thing from Ethan is eating me from inside. It felt like I'm walking on a thin ice in constant fear. Is this what I imagined my life will be one day? No. Especially with him? Definitely not. But here I am.

I love Ethan insanely. I do. But I love my father just the same. Even after I knew his reality. The very next second someone knows about my father's betrayal, he will lose everything. Himself included.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror and all I could only see is a version of myself that I hate profusely. A vulnerable woman who doesn't have enough guts to take a proper decision. A woman who is dumb enough to be played easily.

Self-loathe and thinking low of myself brought a memory from the past in front of me.

"Ow." I hissed when I accidentally cut my finger while chopping the vegetables.

"Are you okay?" I heard Ethan's worried voice before he stood in front of me, taking my hand to inspect the wound.

It was just a small cut but Ethan glared at me for a moment before pulling me towards the sink to stop the bleeding.

"I told you I'll cook tonight." He spoke and I sighed. Yes he did. But I wanted to help him and I guess, my plan backfired on me.

I'm so dumb sometimes. Not sometimes, but most of the time, I guess.

I wanted to help him and now see, where we ended up.

If only I was better at something but I just know only how to ruin things for worse.

Why am I like this. Will I ever do something without ruining something or showcasing my low IQ.  My mother was right about me.

Maybe if I just-

"You are doing it again, Lauren."

"What?" I asked him coming out of those dark thoughts.

"Blaming yourself for everything. It's just cooking. You don't have to be good at everything."

I stared at Ethan while he cleaned the cut on my finger.

"It's a basic thing, Ethan. Why can't I do a simple thing? I'm literally the dumbest person on the whole world. I am such a--"

"Don't you dare call my wife dumb."

"You know it's the truth." He applied the band-aid on my finger and held my good hand staring at me.

"It's not. I know my wife and she is very smart. She doubts herself if one thing goes wrong. She blames everything on herself. She needs words affirmation sometimes and I'm here for it. It's ok if you are not good at something now, Lauren. You will get better and can do it someday."

"I need word affirmation?" I frowned at him because I never knew I needed that. I mean I always loved when people appreciated me for something I did or people loved anything I do.