Foolish one

Chapter 23

"How do you like the tattoos?" Alexia asked when driving the two of us back home. "Thank you, Ale. I don't know how you agreed to take me to get a tattoo in the middle of the night without asking questions. But I have to ask you something. How did you manage to have him open the studio in the middle of the night?" I asked her. It had been spinning in my head since we left for the studio, and now that it was midnight, I was way more intrigued. "He owed me a favour" was her simple response. Her eyes were focused on the road in front of her and both her hands were gripping the steering wheel hard. I could see her hands turning white from the sheer amount of pressure she had on that steering wheel. "Thank you, Ale. I really mean it" I said with a big smile. While she changed gears, I grabbed her hand and squeezed it slightly. It was the first time I had initiated physical contact in the car, and it did not go unnoticed by her. For the first time since we got in the car she looked at me, and the smile covering her face was on of the brightest I had ever seen.

During the short travel back to her place I managed to fall asleep, and I slept a dreamless sleep until I was woken up in the morning. I looked around and was surprised that I was no longer in Alexia's car. Instead, I was asleep in her bed, wearing a big t-shirt that was not mine. Alexia was sleeping peacefully right next to me, her arms were wrapped around my body, and she was snoring slightly.

It was peaceful, and for a while I wanted the rest of life to be like this.

After a few minutes I tried to get up. This was not appreciated by Alexia. She just pulled me closer and snuggled into the crook of my neck while mumbling out her complains. "Ale, we need to get up now. We have training" I tried to reason with her. Instead, she pulled the usual "five more minutes". I did not have that. "How about we do that some other day? Because I need to get up now if I want to make it home before practice and I need to do that Ale" I continued to reason with her. This time it was successful, and my body was released by Alexia. 

"I'm sorry" she apologized, and I saw her cheeks grow red. "Its no problem, I should thank you honestly. You know, for getting me from the car and into the bed" I said, laughing slightly while saying the last few words. A small smile formed on Alexia's lips and soon enough the two of us were up from the bed and made our way into the kitchen.

"I have been thinking about something" Alexia said out of the blue. "What have you been thinking about?" I asked as I made coffee for the two of us. "Would you maybe want to go on vacation with me?" she said while stirring the oatmeal. "You don't have to, of course, but me, Mapí and some of our friends are going. I also think Patri is joining us" she explained, almost ranting. Was she nervous about asking me this? "I would love to" I responded, leaving the coffee for a second to give her a hug.

After another second, she wrapped her arms around me, giving me that familiar comfort that I always craved. We stayed like that for almost a minute, just taking in the other person and enjoying the contact between us. She released me after that, continuing with our breakfast and I did the same with the coffee.

We sat down at her table and started eating our breakfast. When we were done Alexia went up to get changed into her kit while I washed the dishes. She brought a pair of shorts down with her. Just so I could put them on when we left and didn't have to go out in just a t-shirt.

She drove me to my place, and I follow the usual routine. I changed into something else, took my medicine and supplements and brushed my teeth. My hairbrush was packed in bag, and I usually brushed my hair in the car. We talked all the way to training about the vacation we would go on. 

The practice today was mostly recovery, I enjoyed the calm environment. It was great to be back here, and to not be forced to work under Jorge Vilda. We laughed in the breaks between exercises and the ice bath we had to take after was not as bad as usual. Aitana being her usual self, forced me to show her my new tattoos. You are not allowed to do any heavy sweating after getting a tattoo. But since today was just recovery, we had agreed yesterday that it was fine. 

Today I went home with Ottilia. We had agreed to have coffee and a "fika" while doing our respective work. Ottilia had been working on writing a book for ages, and was nowhere near finished, but she wanted to continue with it. I wanted to study for the upcoming exams in the end of May. I know I was quite early for that, but there was always a lot after the season ended and it couldn't hurt to be prepared. 

Her cats greeted us at the door and joined us at the table. Sol was doing her best to stop me from finishing my math by laying all over my papers. It was kind of cute, even though Ottilia was kind of embarrassed that her cats were stopping me from doing my work.

Ottilia and I baked a cake together, she said something about it being one of the most served ones back in Sweden. Ultimately it ended with me sitting on the kitchen counter watching Ottilia do the work while talking about camp. She had not yet heard any of the issues I had with Jorge, and she listened while being totally stunned by what he was doing. Her own coach was very nice, fair, and cared about his players. That made me kind of jealous. 

While we had our cake and coffee, we continued talking about this, she told me some of her own experiences. Ottilia talked about her old teacher who always gave her good grades, praise and offered help whenever possible. When she graduated, he hit on her, saying that it was with his help she was standing there today. He wanted something in return. And that something was her body.

That didn't help me with my thoughts. I knew that this might be what Jorge had in his mind, and I hated that. That he thought he could just expect me to sleep with him. That he thought it was okay for him to praise me before stopping that and making me fall. That he thought it was okay to behave like this. I hated him, and I made sure that Ottilia knew just how much. 

The rest of the afternoon was spent in silence. I sat with my book and calculator in front of me, while Ottilia had her computer, several papers, and a pen in front of her. We worked on our own stuff, occasionally taking breaks to talk and gossip. It was a quiet night, but it still was a night that was going to take a while for me to forget.

I cooked the two of us dinner at her place. It was some broccoli, rice and salmon. A very simple dinner, still it was tasty, healthy, and good for our exercising bodies. This time Ottilia sat and watched me cook. She had lots to talk about, even though we had already been talking for ages earlier. She had a crush on a girl and had gone on a few dates with her. At the moment she was not sure whether or not they would last, but at least it was fun for the two of them. She made sure to mention that they had been sleeping together and how good the other girl was in bed.

I liked that she was open about stuff like that. We discussed what we looked for in a potential partner, and who our types were. It was a long time since I had last done this, it was when me and Dani had the talk about protection and everything. During that talk I came out to her, Dani loved that I felt comfortable enough to talk about it. I just thought it was strange that I had to come out. That the norm was for everyone to be straight, to love someone of the opposite gender. I had never done that, I had only ever been in love with women. 

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30 votes for the next chapter?

I am out to some people, well I think like three, but anyways. I knew that I was into girls a little less than four years ago. Even though I live in a country where it is legal, and not looked down on I am still scared to tell people. I have homophobic friend, and I am scared that I will no longer be able to touch them without them thinking I like them.

Have you had the same struggles? Or are you maybe straight and a lot more lucky?

I managed to lose all of my friends this year. Have been in my new class for a year and a half and still don't have any friends. One of the girls I hang out with is constantly making fun of my sexuality and makes me feel really bad. 

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