ten of hearts (1)

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Chapter warning for some physical torture, but there is NO SEXUAL ASSAULT. Absolutely not here, folks. Thank you for reading !! :)

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Loneliness, you think, is not the act of being alone but rather the absence of people that would fill the spaces in your life.

You think that because you were certainly alone for several extended periods of time when this whole dream world thing began. You'd started off alone, and that had been fine. You'd been alone after the seven of spades, and while those had been some of the worst days of your life, you hadn't really been lonely. You'd been alone, but not exactly lonely.

Now, you're lonely. And it's because of the absence of Levi.

Not to say you don't deserve it. If he'd decided right then and there that the only way he'd feel better was if you had to die in return, honestly? You probably would've understood it.

You spend all day the next day in bed, drained. The only contact you have is Hange, who brings you breakfast, and Sasha, who brings you dinner (but claims she'll happily eat it if you're not hungry). You claim that you're tired and feeling sick, which seems to get you through the day.

You spend most of the day after in bed, too. You read some of your book- not the one Levi grabbed for you, but the other one you packed. You can't bring yourself to touch the other one yet. 

Sleep doesn't come easy, and when the sun rises outside your window, it feels like you've been awake forever. You force yourself to take a shower, but that somehow makes you feel worse.

Eventually, when the sun is already well past its peak and on its way to the ocean, you convince yourself that maybe what you need is fresh air. Maybe you need to take a walk, socialize, sit in the sand and watch the sunset. Maybe- maybe it won't help. But you won't know until you try, right? You should give it a shot.

You force yourself to throw a bathing suit on- the same black one-piece, you can't help it- and you pair it with your jean shorts and the white button-up. You wrap up the nearly-healed hole in your hand (healed in the sense that it looks less ugly than usual). You look at yourself in the mirror: you don't look too bad, all things considered. 

"Alright," you say to yourself. "Get out there." Not very convincing, but you'll have to make do.

There's four sharp knocks on your door.

The urgency behind the knocks makes you frown, and you make your way towards the door. You look through the peephole and immediately freeze up: why the fuck is Floch at your door?

"What?" you call, not really caring if you're being rude.

"Thank god, you're here." Was he looking for you? "Levi's in trouble."

Your hand flies to the door handle. A tiny voice in the back of your head makes you pause. "What?" you repeat, eyeing Floch through the peephole. "What do you mean? Is he okay?"

"He's not, he-" Floch stops, looking down the hallway. "He's in a fight. You're close with him, right? Could you calm him down?"

What the hell is going on? You can't tell if Floch is being genuine or not, but...

You grab your pepper spray from the table next to the door. Then, you pull it open. "Where?" you ask.

Floch immediately backs up and starts heading down the hallway. Your shoulders relax a bit. "In the east wing," he says, pointing. "Come on, let's go."

He turns and he starts to run. With your stomach twisting itself into knots, you follow him. You've met Floch one time, when you were first brought into the Beach. It wasn't a great first impression and it was enough to keep you on guard, and it's enough that you don't trust him completely. But you're genuinely not sure what he could be trying to accomplish by getting you out of your room, and if Levi is actually in trouble, then...

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