Dad?! Where are you?

14 3 6

by tylerdurdenss

by tylerdurdenss

chapter 2
-Dad- _______________________________________________________________________________________________

I was too distracted thinking about what has happened that i almost forgot that my Dad was waiting. I freaked out trying to hurry to get home, I'm in luck that i only need to wait 5 Mins for the next Bus.

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in Bus i started wondering if my Dad had already eaten or if he has been starving himself again when i was gone, either way, im gonna be making him food now so we both can eat together. I went extra shopping yesterday because i wanted to surprise him with his favorite meal, lasagna. My mother used to always do that for us whenever my Dad had his birthday, he used to look at her and smile a bit and then eat the food. and now, in a few days he's gonna turn 55.

I already prepared a few things for his birthday, so i hope i manage to make his day a bit better with it.

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When i finally arrived at home after this really shitty and stressing situation that i got myself into, i started searching for my dad, i was a bit confused because he used to greet me as soon as he hears the keys opening the door. My older brother Nell lives somewhere else, in his apartment. He usually is too busy playing videogames, or sleeping to escape from all the stress. But he looks after us sometimes and tries getting things to make sure we are doing good.
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-Dad? Dad where are you? Are you in the Bathroom? Im really sorry for being so late i really tried to hurry but i had a few things i needed to do before c-
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there it was. Not even able to finish talking, i felt a tear running down my cheek, pure shock, confusion, and that pain, ouch. I still remember myself standing there, staring and not knowing how to even process what i saw. Never would i ever have expected this to happen. I felt my whole body getting goosebumps, i was shaking.
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Was this the end? Is someone trying to ruin my entire life? Do i even deserve all this? Is life against me?
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in my entire life i have never felt that frustrated and downhearted, i couldn't save him.There he was, with his body floating. He was hanging. I never will forget how he looked when his throat was extremely red because of the rope. i wish it had been me. Would it have had happened if i came earlier? i couldn't do anything that moment but cry. I didnt know what to do with my life anymore. I really didn't have anyone. Loneliness had been killing me ever since my mom died, after all, she was the only one who cared about me before she died.

I just wish that none of this would have happened, i wish i could fix things, or change them for the better, or atleast make sure that no one dies. But like always, im too late. Either powerless or late. A part of me wished i couldve just went home. My Mom used to give me good advices, for example, not to trust everyone, or not to trust too much, cause even the best people that you'd never expect to have bad Intentions, would one day turn against you. Not all, but theres definitely a possibility. Like today for example.

Am i always gonna be lonely? Will everyone leave me? Is there really no chance to keep someone with me?

Suddenly i noticed something falling down, it must have been in his hand, it was a note, of course it was. Which father would do this without leaving his children a note. While reading i imagined his voice saying this, i wonder how long it would take me to start forgetting what his voice sounds like. Alr now lemme tell u what was written in that Note.

"Dear Konstantinos ,

i know you will never forgive me for this. I know you wont. You might be suffering in silence right now wondering why i just left you like this. Trust me Konstantinos. This is my End. It was supposed to end this way. I really cant hold it any longer. Im suffering inside and i can't live with that anymore, its destroying me day by day and the sadness wont leave. It just gets worse. I hope you understand this. I love you Anas. I know i never said this to you but since this is the End i owe you the Truth. Im so sorry. If you see this, call your brother Nell, i gave him the money i saved up. It was supposed to be for a gift for your mom but i was already too late and couldn't apologize to your mother. Use this money to buy yourself meals and things you need in order to survive. Your brother already knows about this. So if you call him he'd know what its about.
I'm sorry.

Dimitris. "

My body frowned, my eyes started getting teary. The only Thing i felt was my Aura getting darker and heavier, i realized I had Tears and started crying. I felt my Breathing quicken. I tried controlling it by taking deep breaths but i was still panicking. I fell on the ground due to overwhelming emotions unconscious.

After a long while, i had woken up. The first thoughts i had were about my brother knowing about that. WHY THE FUCK WOULDNT HE STOP HIM FROM TAKING HIS LIFE? WHAT IS WRONG WITH NELL? WHY DIDNT HE TELL ME TO HANDLE THIS? WHY DIDNT HE DO A SINGLE THING? The rage was too big. I ended up smashing everything that was near me, books, a vase, some pens etc. i felt desponded and ill humoured. I went straight to bed and cried myself to sleep.

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The next day i woke up feeling really tired, tired because i couldn't sleep, and tired of living. I couldn't sleep good at all because all the things that happened that day, ended up following me in my worst nightmares. Yet i decided to get up to call my brother, even though i was so fucking disgusted and disappointed in him.