45 | Moments

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"But in the end
They all drifted away,
Even the ones who
Promised to stay."

...

Willow DeLaCruz was only ten-years-old when she met her first love

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Willow DeLaCruz was only ten-years-old when she met her first love.

She was young, not quite sure what love was just yet, but she knew that, whatever it was, she felt it every time she looked at Sasha Paris. It was a hum in her chest, like her heart was preparing to sing a beautiful melody as that special string began to strum, making a wild beat that made it feel as though her chest would burst every time she looked at her. She was utterly breathtaking, Willow would find herself thinking. And before this moment, where she stood frozen, feeling her heart begin to weep in her chest, she always meant it in a way that Sasha was so beautiful that it was hard to not stop and stare. Sasha was ethereal. To Willow, Sasha was the most beautiful girl in the world- despite the Paris always insisting it was the other way around.

Willow still believed this as she stood before the girl, breathless all over again though for a much more painful reason as she watched their friendship go up in flames, burning like the red of her cheeks as she cried, standing back in shock as she listened to Sasha yell out her explanation of how she was drunk, and mad, and she didn't mean it. How she was so, so sorry, and she already regretted it. She just wished she could take it back.

Willow hears her. She listens, and her words are loud, ringing in her ears and yet, she sounds so far away. It was as though she was being held underwater. Being submerged in an ocean of pain as she blinks, tears blurring her vision as she stumbles backwards, all the alcohol hitting her like a truck as it mixes with her panic, making it all the more difficult to function. She gasps, trying to swallow the growing lump in her throat, bracing herself against the doorway for a moment. Sasha continues to explain, words desperate and flustered as she fights for her redemption, anger fading and being replaced with guilt.

Willow, stuck in her head and unable to move her feet, was forced to listen. She listens's to Sasha; she hears her. And for a moment, she considers saying those dreadful words. She considered ignoring that burning sensation, shooting from her chest and painting her entire being with hurt. She thought about it, and it would be so easy to do. To simply ignore the bitter taste of those words, which never seemed to improve, no matter how many times she has been forced to speak them. But would it be worth it? For her to say "I forgive you" and try to move on?

This could all be one drunken night turned into a nightmare, and by tomorrow, they could wake up and just forget about it all. Things could go back to normal and in a month, they wouldn't even think about this one bad moment hidden amongst all the good. They could be okay if she let them. They could be okay... couldn't they?

She tried to believe it. She told herself that, this moment, this hurt she felt eating her alive from the inside out was just that, a moment. One moment tainted with hurt, and when they had so many more moments, filled with nothing but pleasure and pure happiness, it shouldn't matter as much. It was just one moment. One bad moment that was outweighed by all the good. She could forgive her. She wanted so desperately to forgive her and to forget about the whole thing, and just as she was about to, her lips parting and allowing the salty taste of her tears to greet her tongue, she felt it.

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⏰ Last updated: May 12 ⏰

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