HURRICANE

Sad eyes on Happy faces

MAINE's POV

Twitter update: Owkwey let us not forget... Aktingan lang to, uy! Have a great day y'all! ☺️

I was browsing my twitter feed and came across all these tweets about the recent KS happening. Nagtrending si jake. Shems.

Nung binasa ko yung script for the new storyline this year, even I was disappointed. And I even I had to remind myself that this is my obligation. I signed up for this, kaya dapat panindigan ko. Pero shems naman, bakit ganito?

Sabi ko sa sarili ko, sige, tanggapin mo lang lahat ng pang-babash. Kasi part yan ng buhay na pinasukan mo eh. You chose to show yourself in the public eye, so you have to deal with all the things people are gonna say about you and just turn the other cheek. You chose this life, so deal with the consequences.

But it's all a really big pill to swallow. I may appear to be happy and strong, you know, kibit balikat lang sa lahat ng sinasabi tungkol sa akin, pero deep inside, all the negativity is eating me up. This happened to me before, nung papagraduate na ako ng college, because I wasn't sure kung ano gagawin ko. Hindi ko nakitang success ang paggraduate ko. Instead, I saw it as an expectation. And ayun, anxiety and depression kicked in. That's what I'm fearing now. Baka bumalik nanaman yun.

The sad thing about some people is, they really go out of their way to create false, senseless issues about you. Lalo na if successful ka. To be honest, having all of this success in my life is both a curse and a blessing to me. Yes, I'll be forever grateful to God for all of this, but still, I'm hurt from all the things people say about me.

Take for example, when I won 'Best Supporting Actress' for MBL. To be frank, alam ko sa sarili ko na may mas deserving sa akin. Lalo na baguhan pa lang ako. Kaya I wasn't surprised that people were saying na, 'hindi mo deserve yan!' or 'hindi ka naman marunong umarte!'. Okay lang, sabi ko sa sarili ko. Baka naman kasi totoo. Pero to be bashed because of my character and the storyline sa KS? That, I couldn't take. I mean, role pa rin yun. And it's my job to play it well, kahit na hindi ko gusto yung story.

Ang sakit kayang masabihan ng 'malandi' at 'hindi marunong umeffort'. Hindi ko naman kasi kasalanan yun eh. Yun ang sinulat nila at sumusunod lang naman ako sa instructions. People just don't know how to distinguish reel from real.

Oh, how I wish Rj is here with me right now. I want to be in his arms, because there, I feel safe. He's my stronghold in all of this. Ugh, Rj. Why do you have to be miles and miles away?

//

I wanted to pass time. So I decided to write on my journal. You know, thoughts here and there. Naglalabas ng sama ng loob. Probably, Rj just finished his show. I want to call him so bad but I know he's tired. And Mama Ten told me na nasira raw tiyan niya. Poor Rj. I miss you so much. Uwi ka na, please.

Nagulat ako to feel my phone vibrate. It was a face time call from Rj.

"Hi Meng! How are you?"

"Hi Rj! I miss you."

It's so good to see his face and hear his voice. He called me kanina sa KS eh pero aktingan pa rin yun. Good thing, may oras pa siya na tumawag ngayon.

"Grabe siya, 2 days pa lang akong wala, miss mo na ko agad?"

"Aba bakit, Rj, ikaw lang ba may karapatang makaramdam ng sepanx? I miss you, shokoy."

"I miss you too, beautiful. Aba, teka, bakit parang umiiyak ka?"

"Wala to. Sinisipon lang."

"You can't hide from me, Meng. Now, tell me what's wrong? At sinong nagpaiyak sa girlfriend ko?"

"Wala lang to. Syempre, nababash nanaman ako regarding sa new storyline ng KS."

"I know. I've heard. Di ba sabi ko sayo, sanayin mo na sarili mo? This is not the first and last time you will be bashed, Meng. You have to learn how to be strong."

"I know, Rj. But, sometimes, it just gets to me. Kasi I feel na hindi na si Yaya Dub yung sinisiraan eh, ako na."

And with that, tears started to fall from my eyes. I couldn't help it. Ang sakit talaga.

"Awww, love. I'm sorry. But you have no choice, you have to be a strong girl. Marami namang nagtatanggol sa yo, and number one na ako dun."

"Bakit kasi ganun? Palagi nalang ako yung mukhang masama. Hindi marunong umeffort, hindi ka kayang ipaglaban, malandi, maarte, at kung ano ano pa. Palaging yung character ko yung may diperensya."

"Hindi ko masasagot yan, Meng. Yung mga writers lang makakasagot niyan. Siguro, dapat magtiwala nalang tayo sa kanila. Trabaho pa rin ito."

"This is why I didn't want our relationship to be public eh. Kasi I know na mababash nanaman ako ng sobra. Alam mo, to be honest, minsan, gusto ko nalang magquit. Gusto ko nalang na sana hindi nalang ako nag-artista, na sana hindi nalang to nangyari-"

"Huwag ka naman magsalita ng ganyan, Meng. Kung wala ka jan, walang tayo."

"I'm sorry, Rj. Nasasaktan lang talaga ako eh. Alam mo, ikaw ang pinakamabuting kinalabasan ng lahat ng ito. Kaya ako nagtitiis kasi, nandyan ka. Ikaw yung stronghold ko."

"I know, Meng. And I'm so sorry wala ako jan sa tabi mo para damayan ka. Just know this, I love you. I always will. No matter the distance, no matter the circumstance, I will always love you."

"I love you too, Rj."

----------------------

I know this isn't one of my usual GV chapters but in my defense, sobrang nahuhurt lang ako for Maine. Grabe kasi yung mga tao. Kaka-BV. Gusto ko lang din ilabas yung saloobin ko regarding the recent KS Storyline. I hope you guys still appreciate it though.

-hdrmd24