Life of 2p! FACE

Texas

America frowns as he looks at his brothers awesome shades. Why doesn't he have cool sunglasses like that? It isn't fair.

"Yo Matt!"

"What..."

"Giv meh ur shades." Allen says smoothly with an eyebrow wiggle. Matt turns to him with a straight face.

"No."

"Awww, come on bro! I want some awesome as fuck sunglasses too! It's not faaaaiiiiir!" Allen starts to flail all over the couch the two sat at. "Nooooot faaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiir!!" He starts also flailing onto Matt.

"Get off me!" Matt pushes him off the couch and onto the floor. "If you want sunglasses so bad, go get 'em yourself."

"I don't have any money, that freckle face took it all for that shitty swear jar!"

"I never said to 'buy' them. I said to 'get' them." Allen grins and points at his brother.

"I like the way you think, broski!"

"Don't call me that ever again!" Matt calls to him as he runs out the door and leaves the house. Alfred is now wondering the street looking for some nice shades.

He sees a guy with circular sunglasses and whispers, "Nah, too Harry Potterish for me..." Then he spots a guy with giant, over sized, multicolored sunglasses. He laughs a bit and whispers to himself, a bit loudly I might add, "Dude's trying so fucking hard! Totally not my style." The man looks at Allen angrily before walking away. Allen doesn't notice because he's laughing too hard.

Once Allen composes himself, he sees another man walk by. An all too familiar Italian with pink sunglasses walks by. "Hmmm... They are fabulous..." Allen thinks real hard about taking the glasses. "No, I don't want to get involved with that guy." He decides against it in the end.

After a while longer of waiting, Allen gives up. No one had awesome enough shades for him. He decides to go check out the bar and get himself a drink. When he enters, his eyes widen. There they are. The most awesome shades ever. Allen walks right up to the guy and stares at the shades on his face. He looks kind of familiar.

"Yo, do I know you?" Allen asks the stranger.

"What's that supposed to mean, señor? We're pretty much brothers!" Allen stares at him more. He's definitely not Matt in disguise or anything like that. The guy could tell Allen couldn't recognize him and sighs.

"Allen, it's me. Eduardo." He leans in close and whispers, "Mexico?" He sits back and leans against the bar. He waited for a response, but Allen just sits there with a confused face. He sighs and continues again "I was raised by Andres. Or you forget him too?" After no response, Eduardo leans close to him again. "I'm talking about Spain, idiot."

"Look, I don't care 'bout any of that shit. I just want those boss-ass shades, whatever-you-said-your-name-is."

"The name's Eduardo." He stands up menacingly. "And your not getting these shades."

"I'll fight you for 'em, broski." Now Allen is just trying to push his buttons. Eduardo takes off the glasses and puts them on the bar counter. He cracks his neck and gets into fighting stance.

"Let's fight then, shall we?" The two run at each other and start fighting. Everyone in the bar turns toward them. Some cheer them on and chant, others leave the bar, others drink and drink more. The bartender tries to break them up, but it isn't working.

After a lot of fighting, Eduardo delivers a fierce punch to the face and Allen falls over. The bartender quickly lifts Allen up and holds him away from Eduardo. "Are you even old enough to be here, kid?!"

"Sure I am! Now let me at him!" The man pulls Allen's wallet out of his back pocket and pulls out his drivers license.

"Says here you're only 19." Allen rolls his eyes. Stupid human age not changing. He had to change his birth year on his drivers license every year to match his human age. He should be able to drink, being independent and over 65 and all.

"I have the number of the boy's parents if you'd like, sir." Eduardo smiles at the man all happy like. What a butt kisser. Allen flailed around trying to escape the bartender's grasp.

"Yeah, you better get them here. The boy just won't stop..." Eduardo takes out his phone and puts it to his ear once he called Allen's 'parents.'

"Hola, señor Oliver! It's me, Eduardo... What do you mean 'who'!?" Allen laughs a bit while still trying to break free. Eduardo whispers something into the phone. Probably that he's Mexico or whatever. "Anyway, that's not important. What's important is that Allen just tried to fight me in a bar." Eduardo pulls the phone away from his face because of the loud yelling at the other end.

"He did what, where!?" Allen gulped at the sound of Oliver's scary voice. "I'll be right there!" Oliver hangs up and Eduardo puts the phone back into his pocket.

"I'm sure you heard that. He'll be here soon."

True to Eduardo's word, Oliver shows up in a matter of minutes. He slams the door open and screams, "Allen Frank Kirkland!"

"Don't call me that! I'm independent! F stands for Freedom! And it's Jones now, not Kirkland!" Oliver marches to Allen and grabs his ear. The bartender let's go and stands awkwardly next to Eduardo.

"I thought you called his parents, not his ex-husband..." Eduardo bursts out laughing at the bartenders misunderstanding. They do look close to the same age after all. "He kinda acts like an overprotective mother though, so I guess it doesn't matter. Close enough."

"Moooooommmmm!!" Allen whines as he's pulled by the ear. "You're embarrassing me!" The bartender stares oddly. Eduardo falls onto the ground laughing at this point.

Oliver drags Allen out of the bar by the ear, all the while complaining about Allen being underage and how starting fights isn't good and how his rebellious stage isn't over yet. Matt stands outside the bar waiting for Oliver and his brother. "Who'd you fight, Al?"

"Some Mexican dude named Eddy or some shit like that! Dude wouldn't give me his fucking sunglasses!" Matt sighs and heads into the bar as Oliver continues to scold Allen. He spots a guy laughing on the floor. He recognizes the man as the country of Mexico. Matt walks up to him and looks down to him on the floor. He notices a pair of sunglasses sitting on the counter.

Matt silently takes them and leaves the bar as everyone but Eduardo watches. Oliver is currently forcing Allen into the back seat of his minivan. Matt sits in the back with his brother as Oliver continues to scold on as he drives.

"Allen. Here." Matt whispers as he holds out the glasses.

"Whoa bro, how'd you get these!?" Allen whisper-screams back as he takes the glasses.

"I fought him for them of course." Matt smirks slightly at his lie.

"That's awesome! I can't believe you got 'em!" Allen puts them on his face and turns to his brother dramatically. "Lookin' pretty fly, huh?"

"Yeah. Pretty fly... for a white guy." Matt and Allen start snickering in the back seat at the stupid joke.

"Al! Are you even listening to me?! This is important!" Oliver whines from the front seat. He continues his ranting and raving as the snickering also continues in the back seat.

~~Hours Later~~
"Shit... Where the hell did my sunglasses go..." Eduardo searches all over his house like crazy "I'm so fucked... I've lost Texas..."

And that's how Texas became part of the United States.