Life of 2p! FACE

Sealand

"Hey, François! Look what I found~"

François lazily looks up from the tv -is he watching a black and white soap opera?- to see Oliver smiling down at him. Then he sees...

"A boy?" He blows out a puff of smoke.

"Yes! Isn't he just adorable? What a sweet little poppet! I found him on the beach, he washed ashore earlier today."

"I fell off my country, but I didn't die because I found out today that I'm a nation." François looks at the small boy again. He is standing there frowning with his arms crossed. His foot taps impatiently on the floor. He looks like he'd rather be any place but here. Look up 'bratty kid' on google images, and a picture of this kid would pop up. François is sure of it.

The boy stares at François with angry eyes as François stares back with lazy, uncaring eyes. They don't like each other and they both know it. And did this kid just say he's a nation?

Oliver stands there smiling like usual. He doesn't notice the tension rising in the silence, but he breaks it unknowingly anyway, "Don't be shy, love~ How about you tell François here your name?"

The boy narrows his eyes at François before speaking. "Paul," he spats. "As I said before, I'm a country. Just like you. And don't you dare say otherwise." He spoke quiet, but very menacing and creepy. François is now sure this kid is a creepy, psychotic mess that may or may not have broken out of the loony bin. François is a little scared at this point.

"My country is called Sealand." He perks up a little bit at the words. They obviously fill him with pride. "Since I'm a country, I can't die. I'm gonna live forever! I'm invincible!" François realizes his assumption was wrong. No, this kid isn't a psychopath. He's just a little brat who thinks he is more important than he really is.

Oliver giggles and says, "Oh yes you are, my little poppet!~"

François is tired of this whole situation. He turns back to his soap opera. "Shit. I forgot to pause my show. Now I have to rewind it."

"François!" Oliver covers Paul's ears. "No swearing! Especially not in front of Paul! Do you want him to start swearing like Matt and Allen? There shall be no corruption of the child! Er... this child...!"

"Zhey were swearing before we even found zhem. Nozhing to do with me. No corruption here..." François says as he takes another long inhale of cigarette smoke.

Oliver sighs and holds out his jar, "Just put the money in the swear jar." François reluctantly does so.

Just then, the door bursts open. "C'mon, stop being such a boring shit!"

"First, you stop being such a fooking moron!"

"Just admit it, Mattie! That was epic and I am the most amazing person ever!"

"That was embarrassing as fuck, and you are less than shit! Now shut up before I shove this hockey stick up your ass!"

Allen is about to say something else, but then he spots Oliver in psycho angry mode standing right before him. He laughs nervously and waves innocently.

"CAN WE AT LEAST TRY TO SET A GOOD EXAMPLE? IS IT IMPOSSIBLE TO RAISE A CHILD PROPERLY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD?" Oh boy, Oliver is fuming. Allen and Matt have no clue what he is even talking about. François is more than annoyed by all the yelling. He can't even watch his soap opera! He just wants to end all this.

"Oliver found some kid named Paul. It seems he plans to raise zhis kid. He wants us to be good examples. And apparently zhis kid is a country and what not. Never heard of him zhough." François made a terrible mistake with that last part.

"Are you callin' me a liar!? I am to a real country! I'm Sealand, an independent country! I make my own decisions and everything! No one can tell me what to do! No one's the boss of me! AND I'LL NEVER DIE! I'M INVINCIBLE!" François, Allen, and Matt stare at Paul in shock. That was really unexpected.

"Oh, b-but of course, my dearest poppet~" Oliver smiles awkwardly and tries to calm the temperamental boy. "Of course you're a real country. François didn't mean to call you a liar. He knows you're a country, right François?" Oliver turned to François with an angry you-better-do-as-I-say-or-else-I'll-force-poisonous-cupcakes-down-your-throat look.

"Sure" François just turns back to his soap opera completely unfazed. He's seen that exact look many times before. He can't take anymore of this bullshit.

"Yeah, you're totally a country, new little bro!" Allen nearly yells, slightly afraid. He nudges Matt, "Bro, don't you agree?"

"Yeah, welcome to the family, Paul."

The FACE family has just become....

The FACES family!