It's a Chickens Life

Fowl Play

Fowl Play

It's really important that your human realises that you are not just there to lay eggs. Playing should be and is an important aspect of everyday life. If you can't play in your fenced off area of the garden - get out of it.

"Free Range" means you have the right to roam free. However you choose to do it, escape on a regular basis and refuse to return until you are ready.

Time in your coop/shed should always be used constructively. Providing eggs for human consumption is not your priority. Keep aware of development in the garden and plan ahead for trips out.

When you do manage to escape, make sure you make the best use of your time. Think ahead, plan a circuit and make sure you know the human's garden well, because that way you do not miss out on any vital areas.

Choose your times for escaping wisely. Watch what the humans are doing in the garden. When they have just mowed the grass is an excellent time: firstly because it seems to tire them out, so they will be too exhausted to start chasing you frantically around the garden. And secondly because the grass cuttings are full off exciting things to eat.

A good plan would include the flower bed. You can really help the humans by scratching out those nasty weeds that annoy them so much, and in return for this favour feel free to eat as many edible flowers as you can; after all, some plants need trimming back anyway.

En route to your next stop, have a good scratch on the lawn; you will do the humans a favour by getting lots of air into the soil and freshening it up.

You will not want to miss out on the salad bed. The humans will be thrilled if you thin out the tender leaves that are only really growing for your benefit - they always plant far too many to eat themselves.

Remember that this is only your first course, so do not over-indulge. Have another run around the garden to make room for your main course. You will find main course on the compost heap - the fattest and tastiest worms live here. The humans will be happy that you are turning over rotting stuff and giving a new inventive shape, even if you happen to spread it all over the lawn.

For a tasty pudding, head for the bird table. The humans should be encouraged to keep filling it up regularly for the small birds, who are very careless and spill a lot of the seed onto the floor for you to pick up.

While you are out, make sure you give them something back to the humans to say thank you. They love chicken poo. It is the best fertilizer they can get their hands on. It is by far the best over any other farmyard poo, as it is full sulphate of ammonia, sulphur phosphate and potash; that's obviously why it smalls so good.

Feel free to leave as much as you can wherever you can, even if is all over the lawn where the humans love to walk barefoot, or even on the patio area where they like to have barbecues.

If you can make it as far as the humans house you could be onto a winner. A bit of ninga moves are needed here, as they have a cat flap, learn to use it. This will give you access 24-hour, you can come and go as you please. 

Once you get in, head for the cat or dog food. The humans will have left this on the floor just waiting for you to take it. Just make sure the cat or dog is not present while you enjoy this activity.