(#1) Roommates by Day, Enemies by Night

Chapter 52

Was it always to be like this? she wondered. A moment of joy followed by a new sorrow? Soheir Khashoggi, Nadia's Song

Dedication: To FantasticFantasy for the wonderful votes. Thank you so much!

Siena

Looking, but not seeing. Eating, but not tasting. Touching, but not feeling. Hearing, but not listening. Breathing, but not smelling. Existing, but not living. You feel the cut, but not the pain. The touch, but not the person. The love, but you push it away. The sting of the fire is nothing more than a tickle. A knife cut? Simply a line of pressure on your skin. Drowning, drowning, drowning under so many emotions I cannot stop lest I give in. Too much, too many, slamming into me like a truck, over and over and over again, running me over until careening over the edge, dragging me along with it.

Everything was overwhelming, too much for me to take in, smothered under emotions like piles of dirty laundry stinking up the floor of a bedroom.

I stared at the room, thought flooding my head. What? What was going on. It seemed as if my mind had gone blank, like I wasn't focused on what was here, in front of me. Almost like I was some place else.

All of a sudden, flashes disoriented me, began blinking in front of my eyes. I gasped, throwing a hand out to stop me as I crumpled to the wooden floor. I was seeing a place. A house, where I had never been before.

I blinked sluggishly. I was in the middle of Central Park. Why was I here? And why was it so dark? I didn't remember being here. I saw my hands reaching out and grabbing something from a hidden location, underneath a bench, and stuffing it in my pocket, dislodging my phone and causing it to tumble out onto the soft grass.

My body moved against my own accord, and I was pulled into another vision. Here, I was stumbling into the warehouse, looking like a drunk woman. I couldn't control my steps, and I tripped over my own feet, causing me to crash onto the floor and pass out.

Then, I was looking up at the ceiling of my apartment, gasping for a breath. I blinked, twice, and got myself up off the floor, before sending myself into another weird spiral again.

What was that? What were these visions I was having? And why? I didn't remember being in any of these places, so what was I doing there? Who was I communicating with?

Questions for another time. The logical part of my brain suggested that I call Jake, find out what was going on with Dylan, but I wasn't exactly acting like the most logical person at the moment. I ran my fingers through my hair, and stood up shakily, my legs wobbling.

My whole body was shaking, like I was going into shock. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to kick myself, hurt myself badly for what I had done. I was such an idiot. Losing my friend over some idiotic pride? How could I function without him? How was I supposed to live life without my best friend?

I sat down at the table and stared at my hands, which were shaking uncontrollably. I gripped them tightly, trying to stop myself from having a nervous breakdown, but all I could do was start shaking even more violently. I took a deep breath in and out, trying to calm myself down.

I bit on my lower lip, and closed my eyes to prevent the tears dripping down my face. Why was I so stupid? Why did I have this problem. I had thrown away over a decade of friendship because I didn't have the courage to tell him what was going on and the pride to think that I didn't.

How was I supposed to continue life without my best friend? The only person who could talk to me at times. The only person who could help me when I was feeling low or horrible.

My shaking hands finally decided to do something, and I took out my phone, biting my lips as the tears began to flow down my face. I breathed deeply, before pressing the call button on Dylan's contact.