She's A Lady

10

Damien

I missed her at work. Her empty office made me angry all over again each time I saw it. I heard the whole story from Erin now, and if Bill wasn't already behind bars then I would probably end up there. I had replaced a real piece of work. News of the arrest had most of the department talking, and none of it was good. I got to hear all the girls' stories about the man before he left here. Verbal harassment, sexual innuendos, favouritism, it all led up to his dismissal.

How the hell any man could be that delusional about his appeal... but I guess I didn't have a clue how that would work. I had some self esteem, don't get me wrong, but I knew the rules and played by them. Ask, don't assume. No means no. Persistence was stalking, not attractive. You know, the basics. Which apparently some guys just didn't learn. I truly hoped that he paid the price for giving us guys a bad name.

He deserved jail time if you asked me. I had seen the bruises that covered Erin's delicate arms and gorgeous legs. Not to mention the broken wrist that was all wrapped up. She had been wearing long sleeves, baggy stuff to make the injuries less noticeable. I still noticed. It killed me to see her like that, but I couldn't stay away. I wanted to spend every free moment with her. I wanted to spoil her, make her laugh, anything I could to help her get through this.

I wanted to prove to her that I was worthy. Despite my flaws. Besides, I really loved spending time with her. I loved talking to her for hours, watching movies, eating, pretty much everything. She was like a best friend, only better. She was a best friend I wanted to kiss and touch all over. She was a best friend I wanted to keep forever, go to bed to at night and wake up to in the morning. She was the first person who made my chest tight, my heart race, my step lighter, my thoughts go crazy... you get the picture.

If I had to guess, I believe it means I love her. I have only experienced the gentle love of my parents and my love for them, so I could be wrong. However, I have never had the passion that so many others have expressed for me. I wasn't a passionate person, but now I finally felt like I could be a loving one. It wasn't precisely the same. I wanted her because I loved her. I was attracted to her because I liked her. I was interested in pleasing her, which I honestly hadn't been in my other relationships.

Did that make me a bad person? No. Despite my previous partners' belief that I was selfish, standoffish or cold. I wasn't. They were simply judging me by their standards. You shouldn't say a bird makes a terrible fish. Of course it does! It was never meant to be a fish. I was a bird looking for another bird, specifically someone who made me feel all those things I was 'supposed to'. I sometimes felt like I was doing it wrong, but I had eventually found Erin so I must be alright after all.

I had let my friendship and attraction lead me thus far. I was happy. I knew that not everyone like me might find something like this, so I felt grateful. Grateful that I didn't have to fake passion with her, grateful I didn't have to rush into a physical relationship to make Erin happy, just grateful that I had a chance at the happily ever after that everyone else had been cramming down my throat.

Because looking normal and being anything but was really, really hard.

Erin

The paperwork was filed. Bill was arrested for verbal, sexual and physical assault. The workplace filed prior history with the police, so bail was set high. I was allowed to move around, carefully. I could go out, but my bruises were still brighter than Christmas LEDs. I wore long sleeves so I didn't have to look at them all the time. It was good that it was getting much cooler, so I didn't look as odd bundling up.

Liz and the other neighbour had dropped off my bags last week, and I insisted on inviting them over for dinner to thank them for their help. They insisted on potluck because of my arm and I wasn't complaining. Liz makes a killer lasagna. I could smell it wafting from the door as Damien got up to answer it. He spent most of his time hanging out here while I was recovering. He made me tea, fluffed pillows, pretty much made me feel like a princess.