She's A Lady

Author's Notes

So what is the point of all this? To illustrate that a woman is a woman no matter what her parts are? Not exactly. It is to validate the journey of all of us. That the journey of those women and men who struggle with identity are no less valid than any other couple. That the struggles are the same, even if the people who experience them are different. That the fairy tale can be retold with princes and princesses to suit every human being. That we all deserve happiness and love. That we will all experience hardship and loss.

My characters could have been a heterosexual, cisgender couple who experienced harassment, job changes, sexual assault, legal proceedings, courtship, family relations, death, and marriage. I am showing you that the journey is the same through the eyes of this couple. Are they transgendered? Are they gay? Are they straight? Does it matter? Is it really important to the story?

It is what we believe that is important. It is what we chose to believe that defines us, makes us who we are. If we truly believe we are equal, then we don't have to act like it because it comes naturally to treat everyone the same. Don't give everyone the same test, because there will always be someone somewhere who will fail your test but still be what you are trying to define.

Try to define a woman by simply a culmination of her parts or the person she loves and you will find those who cannot meet your expectations. A woman can be born with no uterus, no ovaries, hormones that don't work or just the inability to procreate. Does that make her less of a woman? No. So why would you tell a woman with male anatomy who is still a woman in her core that she is invalid? You shouldn't. She can still grow up and become a mother, like the woman who cannot bear children and wants them adopts those who need the care their own biological parent cannot provide.

Whether a woman loves a man or another woman is not a test of her gender either. It is only an expression of her individual choice and capacity to love. So also a man should no more be defined as a man by who he loves or what his parts are. They only make him an individual. They neither make him weak, strong, masculine, feminine, or essentially valid. Gay or straight, transgender or cisgender, man or woman; these can either divide us or describe us but it is what we believe that gives them strength.

Sometimes we defy definition, like Max, and that is okay too. It does not make us any less important of a character to our own story or others'. In fact, it is the story, the conversation, the moving forward that is truly important in all our lives. That we live, that we love, that we continue "happily ever after."

Thank you for reading

~Angel