delirium (sequel to apathy)

18

             18 

"Amir, you can't be in this and messing shit up," Grandpa told me. 

I listened intently as he taught me everything he knew about drugs, and how to keep yourself while making deals with other people. Drugs were a very competitive market, and there was no room for slip ups - especially in a situation like this. It didn't take a lot to make me understand, I already understood when he told me that he needed to speak with me. 

"You gotta be vary of the niggas that cross your path, you never know who's setting you up," he continued, leaning back in his chair. His attention turned to the window briefly, then he looked back at me. I simply nodded, making sure to take a mental note of what he was saying. "I'm just telling this so you don't get hurt out there. Monae already doesn't want you out here, I can't imagine how she'd be if you got hurt." 

I couldn't imagine that either, and I didn't want to. I had seen what Dad's little visit to the hospital reduced her to. I remember the first day like it was yesterday. I had just gotten out of school, and there was a cop car outside, waiting for me. I swear, I thought I was going to jail for some shit I didn't do. I was the subject of every conversation for at least two or three weeks.

The cop took me to the hospital, and I was the last one to arrive, and the last one to know the news. No one wanted to tell me, and it was written all on their faces. I took one look at Mom though, and it was all the information I needed. She was covered in blood, her clothes looking like someone had attacked her. She was shaking, and sobbing on Grandpa's shoulder, not even noticing that I was there. 

I didn't recognize her, at all. 

At first I just doubted that it had happened, trying my best to ignore the whole situation. But when it was time to go check on Dad, it all really sunk in. Hell, I thought he was dead. He wasn't moving, and his chest was covered in blood, a nasty looking bullet wound close to his heart. It didn't take rocket science to figure out that whoever had did it, wanted him dead. It had taken someone with a lot of balls do walk up to him in broad daylight and shoot him - with Mom standing right there. 

I still wasn't understanding, why shoot Dad? 

I couldn't ignore the feeling that there was something none of knew, which made me weary of everyone, including family. 

I was feeling like I could only trust myself, but I kept telling myself that it was just negative thinking, and that it wasn't that serious. 

"But Amir, I know you can do it. You're an August, shit. I believe in you, just remember what I told you, aight?" 

I nodded, smiling. Talking with Grandpa was something else. Underneath all that insane, and crazy shit he does, he really has a grasp on things around here, even if things do get a little out of hand. Leaving the room, I headed back into my room, eyeing the three stacks of folders on my floor. It was filled with information about everyone, people that might be connected to this whole issue. I was trying to get to the solution to this, and fast. I began to get to work, getting lost in my own world.

"Here, this is all I could find on Monique," I heard Blade say, walking into my room. 

I glanced at him before returning my attention to the huge, make-shift chart all over my room. It mostly consisted of sticky notes and pictures, but it was something. It looked severely disordered, but from what I was seeing, it looked like a pretty good chart. Blade handed me a folder, pausing to look around at my room. 

"Romelo must've helped you with this, huh?" He questioned, and I nodded. Without Grandpa's help I would have a lot of empty spaces in this chart. The chart started with Grandpa, along with Lorenzo. It continued on with their friends, like Blade and Terrell, and even some of their most dangerous enemies that could possibly be behind all of what's been going on. Grandpa wasn't lying when he said he had a bunch of enemies. Shit, he should've died a long time ago with that many people after him. 

"In Maurice's office, there was a photo of him and Monique," I told him. 

Blade raised his eyebrows, sitting on my bed. I placed Monique's death photos where Martin was, and the photos of her with Martin and Marten in the middle. I couldn't shake the terrible feeling I had. I couldn't quite pinpoint why I felt this way, but all I knew was that I felt like it was horrible. I looked around at the chart, noticing one huge hole.

Dad.

Ramiro told me that Terrell had a file on him, and that Dad had been in and out of jail over the years, but he didn't know what for. He also said that he had severe bipolar disorder, and PTSD, and I felt like those two things were linked to each other. Dad and Martin were also friends, but with the letters I had between them, that hole was patched. 

There was still plenty of holes in the charts, several dead ends as well. Information started coming in, and then it just stopped. Either the person had died, and seemed to just drop of the edge of the world. Plus, we didn't have that much information on Marten, but his associates, were another thing. They were like open books, allowing me to determine which person to move onto next. But first, I had to make it past Maurice. 

"..That must mean Monique had something with Maurice. She was a prostitute, after all.." 

I nodded. 

For the past few days, this all I've been doing. Collecting information, trying to connect everyone to everyone else, and I've been training for a few days, but not as much as before. Maurice has got in contact with me a few times, telling me about me "initiation" I had to go through. I had been trying to prepare myself, and I was assuming the worst. Who knows what the hell Maurice could have planned in store for me? 

My phone rang and vibrated on the table, and I picked it up, assuming that it was Mom just checking in on me, like she's kept up with. She never misses a day, I swear. Sliding my finger across the screen, I answered the call, holding my phone up to my ear. 

"It's time. Be at the designated location in twenty minutes. No second chances."