Princess Undercover ✔

N I N E T E E N | Understand

{Not Edited}

Song: Sun comes up

Artist (s): Rudimental ft James Arthur

Those who fly solo have the strongest wings.

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Going from finally having people who you consider family to having nothing is devastating. Mentally and physically. But then again, who do you turn to when you have no one? So here I am again. Back to the start. Feeling like I'm not wanted. Feeling like I'm worthless. And even though I'm alive, feeling dead.

"Princess, the queen would like to see you" A worker knocked at the door peeping through.

"You can tell her I'm not interested" Wide eyed the worker looked at me, when I didn't make another move she left. No longer was I going to be controlled by her. No longer was I going to be oppressed by her. I let out a sigh, rubbing my temples to get rid of the killing migraine I had just as my phone started vibrating. Who would be calling me this late at night?

It was Krystal. It had been three weeks since I left everything. A week since I have been avoiding everyone. I couldn't face. Not after everything that had happened. Swallowing the lump in my throat and plucking up the little courage I had left I answered.

"Oh thank God, you've answered. I've been worried sick" she exclaimed.

"Allison. Are you okay?" I heard Jennifer too and I'm sure Aiden was there too.

"Don't you guys hate me?"

"Why on earth would we hate you?" Aiden asked.

"Because I lied to you -"

"- With reason" Krystal cut me off. "We understand why you did what you did. It wasn't selfish of you to do what you did. It was human". I felt the tears sting at my eyes again.

"Oh God, please don't cry." Jennifer yelled over the line.

"I'm not" I sniffed. We stayed silent after that. Until Aiden spoke up again.

"So what now? What do we call you? Princess Paige?"

"No" I said instantly. "I'll always be Allison for you. Always."

"I love you Ali" Jen whispers.

"I love you all too" Maybe I wasn't so alone. Krystal cleared her throat before taking over the call.

"How are you holding up?" I knew what she what was referring to or should I say who. I didn't answer so they just waited.

"I realised today that I didn't – don't – actually matter to him and its hurts" I finally spoke up choking on my words. And then I smiled. Just to make the tears stop falling. I knew. I knew after this I'm never going to trust anyone again. It's hard to trust somebody when the one you completely opened up to is the person who later completely betrays you because there are times when only silence is betrayal.

"I loved him. Scratch that. I fell in the love with the person he pretended to be" I admitted. More to myself that anyone else.

"Ali. I've known Noah my whole life. He would never hurt you" Aiden insisted. I scoffed.

"He lied about everything. Everything we had been through was a facade"

"And what if it wasn't?" I didn't reply.