Monstrous ➙ Theo Raeken

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before i start i would like to dedicate this chapter to the people that keep me going with this story .
-mishan-accomplished Annabelleleigh72 _Stxdia_ ellevampires

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Clarissa Bane decided she was eternally cursed from the moment that she was born.

She had guessed that this moment would happen eventually but she wasn't expecting it to happen tonight; not when she was unprepared on how to try and fight her way out of it.

Silence was ephemeral in Beacon Hills and at the rate that they were going, the whole town would soon be at war with each other in complete and utter fear. Her hands were gripped tightly against the auburn tresses that were normally in perfect place; but tonight it was wild and chaotic. She hadn't looked up from her floor since she got the call. The damn call that would break the fragments of her mind that weren't already so worn out and damaged. Her body had been trembling from the copious amount of emotions that flowed through her very being since she landed heaving against her bed; that thrashed like a hurricane against her inner mind.

Trepidation.

It was the immense trepidation that hit her like a tidal wave time after time, the kind of fear that she held reserved for these rare moments of vulnerability. Trepidation was something that people endured, something that could be handled with amounts of courage and small doses of adrenaline. It was something that ran down her body; it went from her freshly painted toes to the roots of her voluminous auburn hair. It hit her like a tidal wave, slow at first then hitting her to a point that completely consumed her. Clarissa Bane was not afraid of many things, but the things that terrified her shook her to her very core.

Indignation.

She wanted to make a deal with the devil to change this fate that she inherited. She wasn't a very religious person but in that moment she wanted to scream and cry to God that it wasn't fair. She knew that it wouldn't help her cause. Life was tragic and cruel to the people who least deserved it. Life did not separate the wicked from the pure; it was almost as if she was jinxed to suffer for her actions in the past. Clarissa couldn't help but squeeze her eyes shut at the pounding that hadn't left her head since Scott dropped her off. She could feel the trepidation weigh heavily against her brain.

Anger.

She was angry with herself for not speaking the truth that had been on the tip of her tongue for months now. She was completely and utterly angry for approaching Stiles Stilinski in the hospital that night, demanding answers for what had transpired with her friends. Her heart was full of the flaming hot fire of her anger. She didn't know why she couldn't control the anger that caused her breathing to come in raspy breaths as she stared holes in her floor. She was shaking, her anger spreading like wildfire through her body. She couldn't be angry with anyone other than herself. She was fully to blame for the situation that she whined and griped multiple times about throughout the day.

Shame.

She knew that he would never forgive her for her actions. She stood by him through everything that he had done before. Clarissa was a liar and a sham of a human being, not the queen that he had vowed to protect because he loved her more than life itself. Her shame was running through her mind and consuming her. She wasn't in her right state of mind and couldn't even begin to hear the low clicking noise that had surrounded her as she wallowed in her self-pity.