Why Do I Matter Now?

Chapter One

The yells and constant put down is what got to him. He would try to help the bet he can, only to be pushed aside. He doesn't know what to do anymore. He just trains and eats and does his normal routine but he stays silent unless spoken to or has an important thing to say, stays expressionless. When he does speak, he makes a few jokes and then goes back to being serious; but the jokes seem to get less and less. How can someone such as him ever be perceived as anything other than just a goofball? No one says a word about his sudden change in character. No one says a word for they see this as a good sign. Maybe they can all concentrate on their work and be able to defeat the Galra. Sadly, they just don't know what mistake they're making.

Lance is training when the others come in, he's sweating and panting. His face is littered with scratches and a few bruises on his body, standing his ground as he aims to shoot at one last gladiator. Once the shot hit, he hears, "End training sequence!" He put his blaster up, straightening his posture and placing his hands on his head with his elbows at a certain angle. He remembered doing that during gym when they ran the mile for the first time. Shiro is looking at him, studying him as he flashes them a wide grin. "Lance, are you okay?"

  "Hmm? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Why you'd ask?" His voice is raspy from the lack of speaking the last few weeks. He notices the stares, although he doesn't know that it's from the way his voice sounds and thinks he did something wrong. "Did I do something wrong?"

  The question takes them aback but Coran is the first to speak. He makes his way over, placing a hand on the Latino boy's back. "No, you didn't, my boy. You've been in here for about two hours now, we were looking for you. As for Number One's question, you seem really exhausted and you look ready to collapse."

  Lance tilts his head to the side, frowning since he must've lost track of time. "Oh. Mira, I'll just shower and take a nap. I'm fine, sorry for causing y'all to search for me," he says as he walks to the door.

  He's stopped by Allura before he can get a few steps out the door. "Lance, we have training to do. But seeing as you have trained for a while, you can sit this one back and watch the others, okay?" She then takes a waft of his body odor and takes a step back. "But, maybe you should shower first. Just come right back."

  Lance nods and walks away, confusion set onto his face. He doesn't understand why Allura said any of that, he figured that she would still force him into training even more so. He needs to improve. He needs to get better. This is just something he knows and he's been told multiple times. "Are you insane like me? Been in pain like me? Bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like me? Just to pour that motherfucker down the drain like me?" He sings softly as he steps into the steaming water.

  Meanwhile, the team is talking about Lance. They have noticed that he was training on a higher level than anyone else. They hear his faint footsteps and make their way to their positions, Allura notices him and beckons him to follow her to the box thing, where they watch the training. Lance stands beside Coran and stares out at the training grounds. They restart the levels, but he remembers the level, or so he thinks. Coran steals glances at the Cuban male who seems to be engrossed with the others' training. His eyes show a calculative gleam. He takes notice of the glances and reforms himself, showing no expression as he looks over and catches the Altean male's eyes. He raises an eyebrow at him, his blue eyes skeptical before he smiles at him with a wide and toothy smile. He knows if he doesn't Coran would ask about his well-being and he doesn't need that.

  He goes back to watching his teammates and slowly by slowly, one ends up in the booth. "Good job, Paladins. Soon we will defeat Zarkon."

  Kieth mutters something under his breath, glancing at Lance who seems to be in a deep thought. He heard a light humming sound come from the teen as he pulled up the video feed, watching them train again. A frown is placed on the others' faces as they watch him. "Lance?" questions Pidge as she stares at the Cuban male, who pauses and fast forwards the video to when Hunk is taken out. "Lance what are you doing?"

"There," he murmurs as he points to the video. It shows where it started going wrong. Hunk called someone to help him but they blatantly ignored him which is where the dummy got him. Then again with Pidge, she seems to be running. She has one of the practice dummies on her tail, calling for Keith to help her as she tries to outsmart another dummy. Once again, they ignored her. Happened again with Shiro, then Keith who had slipped up. "That's where you messed up." He turns to them, seeing the glares thrown at him. He says nothing about them, knowing that they don't like their mistakes being spat back at them. Hypocrites. "You ignore your comrades when they need you the most." He stands and walks out of the booth, ignoring their muttering. The Blue Paladin makes his way to the lions. There, he gets on both knees. He clears his mind and breathed in and out like he does when he shoots.

  Before he can start meditating, he hears Allura's voice come through the speakers telling them to come to the bridge. Getting there, he ignores the comment of being late and telling them he was with Blue. "And all the people say, 'you can't wake up, this isn't a dream! You're part of a machine, you are not a human being.' With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline. I think there's a flaw in my code. These voices won't leave me alone. Well my heart is gold and my hands are cold," he murmurs the lyrics under his breath listening to them speak. He doesn't bother putting in any input so he thinks and listens. He must've appeared to not be paying attention some he hears:

  "Lance, are you paying attention?" Allura's tone hints of her annoyance with the blue Paladin. She just wants this war over with and help the masses of people that have been enslaved or live in fear of the Galra.

Lance being an eccedentesiast just gives her a wide smile, hiding any emotions that seem to be negative. "Of course princess. I apologize if it seems that I'm ignoring you, but I won't ever do that for someone like you." Cue the groans and eye rolls along with the glares. He hears one of them say that he's back to being Lance again—the pluviophile and the thalassophile—but to them just the flirt and the goofball. He quickly turns serious, straightening up. "But, yes, I was listening."

  "Alright the explain to me what I just said," she says and he sighs when he notices everyone's eyes on him. He takes a second collecting his thoughts before speaking to make sure it sounds right. "Are you going to say it?"

  "He does this a lot, since he's bilingual, sometimes it's difficult for him to speak outright without messing up," explains Hunk, earning a grateful look from his friend.*

  "Thank you, Hunk. Allura, you said that this is just a diplomatic mission, gain allies from the planet—I can't pronounce the name of—and get some supplies to help fix the ship." He mispronounces "fix" and "ship" and it sounds more like "feec the sheep" to which he stumbles over his words to correct himself. His cheeks aflame with red as Pidge mocks it but he knows it's just a joke. She types it in her tablet, adding to the other words he has mispronounced before.

  Shiro chuckles softly and looks at the Garrison Trio with a fond smile. Lance slowly loses his smile, unaware of Shiro watching them. His face is replaced with nothing. He knows something is going on with the Cuban, except he says nothing. So far it hasn't hurt the team yet. The black Paladin thinks back to the training. That's where you messed up. You ignore your comrades when they need you the most. He decides to wait, watch, and see what happens. If he notices something that seems to be off, he'll act but now, he'll step back and give him space.

Alright, so this is something I decided to do. And I will do my best to develop Lance's character without going overboard with the entire langst thing.

*This is something that I do and my family and  friend does. Being bilingual some of us have to think about our sentences, putting them together before speaking. Even if we have been speaking the language for quite a while, it's just hard sometimes. Especially when we get tired. I'm not sure if others go through this as well, but yeah. We also mess up easily on some of the easiest of words. I like seeing this happen because it not only gives comedic relief, it also shows the struggle of learning a new language.